Every post tends to be occupied by an employee incompetent to execute its duties.

The work is done by people who have not yet attained final placement at their level of incompetence.

Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.

Some problems are so complex that you have to be highly intelligent and well informed just to be undecided about them.

You can tell a real friend: when you’ve made a fool of yourself he doesn’t feel as though you’ve done a permanent job.

Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.

Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.

Heredity is what sets the parents of a teenager wondering about each other.

The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn.

You don’t need to take a person’s advice to make him feel good—just ask for it.