Oscar Levant

Happiness isn't something you experience it's something you remember.

I have no trouble with my enemies. But my goddam friends, they are the ones that keep me walking the floor nights.

When you give up drinking, you have to deal with that wonderful personality that started you drinking in the first place.

What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us left.

The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too.

Behind the phony tinsel of Hollywood lies the real tinsel.

The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.

Marriage is a triumph of habit over hate.

I was once thrown out of a mental hospital for depressing the other patients.

Strip away the phony tinsel of Hollywood and you find the real tinsel underneath.

I knew her before she was a virgin.

So little time, so little to do.

I envy people who drink - at least they know what to blame everything on.

I have given up reading books; I find it takes my mind off myself.

You can’t possibly hear the last movement of Beethoven’s Seventh and go slow.

I treasure every moment that I do not see her.

I don’t drink liquor. I don’t like it. It makes me feel good.

There is a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.