Quotes to inspire and reflect

He was such a good man that people hated to see him coming.

I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want.

The most permanent lessons in morals are those which come, not of book teaching, but of experience .

I would rather have my ignorance than another man's knowledge, because I have so much of it.

If smoking cigars is not permitted in heaven, I won't go.

I would like to live in Manchester, England. The transition between Manchester and death would be unnoticeable.

You cant reach old age by another man's road, my habits protect my life but they would assassinate you

I can live for two months on a good compliment.

The problem with education is school.

In the real world, nothing happens at the right place at the right time. It is the job of journalists and historians to correct that.

Strange is the man who practices his religion .

Necessity is the mother of taking chances.

Wagner’s music is better than it sounds.

I would have written a shorter letter, but I did not have the time.

I like the truth sometimes, but I don't care enough for it to hanker after it.

Humor is the good natured side of a truth.

Never do wrong when people are looking.

Monarchies, aristocracies, and religions....there was never a country where the majority of the people were in their secret hearts loyal to any of these institutions .

God cures and the doctor sends the bill.

The new political gospel: public office is private graft.

In my experience, previously counted chickens never do hatch.

It is a worthy thing to fight for one's freedom; it is another sight finer to fight for another man's.

That which was hard to endure is sweet to remember.

Marriage, yes, it is the supreme felicity of life. I concede it. And it is also the supreme tragedy of life. The deeper the love the surer the tragedy. And the more disconsolating when it comes.

No church property is taxed and so the infidel and the atheist and the man without religion are taxed to make up the deficit.

Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.

It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.

If it is a Miracle, any sort of evidence will answer, but if it is a Fact, proof is necessary

The political and commercial morals of the United States are not merely food for laughter, they are an entire banquet.

I smoke in moderation. Only one cigar at a time.

We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.

The easy part of being an artist is figuring out the message that everyone else is ready to hear. The hard part is waiting for the proper lull to make the announcement.

Do not offer a compliment and ask a favor at the same time. A compliment that is charged for is not valuable.

Methuselah lived to be 969 years old . You boys and girls will see more in the next fifty years than Methuselah saw in his whole lifetime.

Irreverence is the champion of liberty and its only sure defense.

Each nation knowing it has the only true religion and the only sane system of government, each despising all the others, each an ass and not suspecting it .

The less there is to justify a traditional custom, the harder it is to get rid of it

I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way.

Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.

Do something everyday that you don't want to do.

The first time a student realizes that a little learning is a dangerous thing is when he brings home a poor report card.

If you're looking for friends when you need them...it's too late .

Words are only painted fire; a look is the fire itself.

There is probably no pleasure equal to the pleasure of climbing a dangerous Alp; but it is a pleasure which is confined strictly to people who can find pleasure in it.

Travel is lethal to prejudice.

Sometimes my feelings are so hot that I have to take the pen and put them out on paper to keep them from setting me afire inside; then all that ink and labor are wasted because I can't print the results

It is best to read the weather forecast before praying for rain.

One of life's most over-valued pleasures is sexual intercourse; of one of life's least appreciated pleasures in defecation .