Emotions and Feelings

Teaching is like trying to hold 35 corks underwater at once.

All generalizations are false, including this one.

I have done more for San Francisco than any of its old residents. Since I left there it has increased in population fully 300,000. I could have done more - I could have gone earlier - it was suggested.

A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.

We have not all had the good fortune to be ladies. We have not all been generals, or poets, or statesmen; but when the toast works down to the babies, we stand on common ground.

Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.

Quitting smoking is easy, I've done it hundreds of times.

An author values a compliment even when it comes from a source of doubtful competency.

You can't pray a lie -- I found that out.

The bane of Americans is overwork-and the ruin of any work is a divided interest. Concentrate-concentrate. One thing at a time .

Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream.

Man will do many things to get himself loved, he will do all things to get himself envied.

Man will do many things to get himself loved, he will do all things to get himself envied.

Man will do many things to get himself loved, he will do all things to get himself envied.

I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up.

God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.

It is better to be a young June-bug than an old bird of paradise.

It is my belief that nearly any invented quotation, played with confidence, stands a good chance to deceive .

He was endowed with a stupidity which by the least little stretch would go around the globe four times and tie.

I once sent a dozen of my friends a telegram saying 'flee at once - all is discovered.' They all left town immediately .

In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.

I never can think of Judas Iscariot without losing my temper. To my mind Judas Iscariot was nothing but a low, mean, premature, Congressman.

New Orleans food is as delicious as the less criminal forms of sin.

Difference between savage and civilized man: one is painted, the other gilded.