Humor e Ironia

She wears her clothes, as if they were thrown on her with a pitchfork.

He was a bold man that first eat an oyster.

I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that a young healthy child well nursed is at a year old a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled, and I make no doubt that it will equally serve in a fricassee, or a ragout.

We are so fond of one another, because our ailments are the same.

I have heard of a man who had a mind to sell his house, and therefore carried a piece of brick in his pocket, which he shewed as a pattern to encourage purchasers.

Instead of dirt and poison we have rather chosen to fill our hives with honey and wax; thus furnishing mankind with the two noblest of things, which are sweetness and light.

Satire is a sort of glass, wherein beholders do generally discover everybody’s face but their own.

The Right Honourable gentleman is indebted to his memory for his jests, and to his imagination for his facts.

You write with ease, to show your breeding,

Alcohol is a very necessary article … It enables Parliament to do things at eleven at night that no sane person would do at eleven in the morning.

What really flatters a man is that you think him worth flattering.

It’s all that the young can do for the old, to shock them and keep them up to date.

All professions are conspiracies against the laity.

I’m only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller.

Oh, you are a very poor soldier—a chocolate cream soldier!

Odious! in woollen! ’twould a saint provoke!

Die, and endow a college, or a cat.

‘Satire or sense, alas! can Sporus feel?

Damn with faint praise, assent with civil leer,

And he, whose fustian’s so sublimely bad,

You think this cruel? take it for a rule,

Sir, I admit your gen’ral rule

I am his Highness’ dog at Kew;

You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think.