Emotions and Feelings

I find that the further I go back, the better things were, whether they happened or not.

It is easy to find fault, if one has that disposition. There was once a man who, not being able to find any other fault with his coal, complained that there were too many prehistoric toads in it.

If you can't get a compliment any other way, pay yourself one.

I have been on the verge of being an angel all my life, but it's never happened yet.

The way it is now, the asylums can hold the sane people, but if we tried to shut up the insane we should run out of building materials.

A human being has a natural desire to have more of a good thing than he needs.

Get a bicycle. You will not regret it, if you live.

The air up there in the clouds is very pure and fine, bracing and delicious. And why shouldn't it be?--it is the same the angels breathe.

When a humorist ventures upon the grave concerns of life he must do his job better than another man or he works harm to his cause.

Eight grown Americans out of ten dread the coming of the Fourth, with its pandemonium and its perils, and they rejoice when it is gone-if still alive.

Armor is heavy, yet it is a proud burden, and a man standeth straight in it.

Armor is heavy, yet it is a proud burden, and a man standeth straight in it.

Recipe for a long life: Only smoke while awake. Only run when being chased.

The difference between a Miracle and a Fact is exactly the difference between a mermaid and a seal.

Therein lies the defect of revenge: it's all in the anticipation; the thing itself is a pain, not a pleasure; at least the pain is the biggest end of it.

Therein lies the defect of revenge: it's all in the anticipation; the thing itself is a pain, not a pleasure; at least the pain is the biggest end of it.

Tea is an affront to lunch and an insult to dinner .

Put no trust in the benefits to accrue from early rising, as set forth by the infatuated Franklin.

Teaching is like trying to hold 35 corks underwater at once.

I have never taken any exercise, except sleeping and resting, and I never intend to take any. Exercise is loathsome. And it cannot be any benefit when you are tired; and I was always tired.

All generalizations are false, including this one.

I have done more for San Francisco than any of its old residents. Since I left there it has increased in population fully 300,000. I could have done more - I could have gone earlier - it was suggested.

Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.

A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.