Emotions and Feelings

Life is short. Forgive quickly, kiss slowly and love truly .

Simplified spelling is all right, but, like chastity, you can carry it too far.

The idea that no gentleman ever swears is all wrong. He can swear and still be a gentleman if he does it in a nice and benevolent and affectionate way.

What work I have done I have done because it has been play. If it had been work I shouldn't have done it.

He liked to like people, therefore people liked him .

He liked to like people, therefore people liked him .

There is nothing so annoying as to have two people talking when you're busy interrupting.

There is nothing so annoying as a good example!!

Figures don't lie, but liars figure .

My memory was never loaded with anything but blank cartridges.

Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.

Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.

In God We Trust. I don't believe it would sound any better if it were true.

Fortune knocks at every man's door once in a life, but in a good many cases the man is in a neighboring saloon and does not hear her.

Principles aren't of much account anyway, except at election time. After that you hang them up to let them season.

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education .

Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever.

I have stopped smoking now and then, for a few months at a time, but it was not on principle, it was only to show off; it was to pulverize those critics who said I was a slave to my habits and couldn't break my bonds.

At noon I observed a bevy of nude young native women bathing in the sea, and I went and sat down on their clothes to keep them from being stolen.

Drag your thoughts away from your troubles... by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.

Drag your thoughts away from your troubles... by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.

An honest politician is an oxymoron.

If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later.

Indecency, vulgarity, obscenity - these are strictly confined to man; he invented them. Among the higher animals there is no trace of them. They hide nothing. They are not ashamed.