Life and Existence

When the time comes that a man has had his dinner, then the true man comes to the surface

The future interests me - I'm going to spend the rest of my life there.

It has always been a peculiarity of the human race that it keeps two sets of morals in stock-the private and the real, and the public and the artificial.

I have been on the verge of being an angel all my life, but it's never happened yet.

Get a bicycle. You will not regret it, if you live.

The world doesn't owe you anything. It was here first .

Geological time is not money.

Life is short, break the rules.

Recipe for a long life: Only smoke while awake. Only run when being chased.

The difference between a Miracle and a Fact is exactly the difference between a mermaid and a seal.

When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet in his private heart no man much respects himself.

We have not all had the good fortune to be ladies. We have not all been generals, or poets, or statesmen; but when the toast works down to the babies, we stand on common ground.

Quitting smoking is easy, I've done it hundreds of times.

You can't pray a lie -- I found that out.

I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up.

I said there was but one solitary thing about the past worth remembering, and that was the fact that it is past-can't be restored.

I said there was but one solitary thing about the past worth remembering, and that was the fact that it is past-can't be restored.

It is better to be a young June-bug than an old bird of paradise.

There is no other life; life itself is only a vision and a dream for nothing exists but space and you. If there was an all-powerful God, he would have made all good, and no bad.

There is no other life; life itself is only a vision and a dream for nothing exists but space and you. If there was an all-powerful God, he would have made all good, and no bad.

In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.

Broad, wholesome, charitable views .. can not be acquired by vegetating in one's little corner of the earth.

Our Bible reveals to us the character of our god with minute and remorseless exactness... It is perhaps the most damnatory biography that exists in print anywhere. It makes Nero an angel of light and leading by contrast.

I have achieved my seventy years in the usual way: by sticking strictly to a scheme of life which would kill anybody else... I will offer here, as a sound maxim, this: That we can't reach old age by another man's road.