Life and Existence

I try never to let my schooling get in the way of my education.

There are those who would misteach us that to stick in a rut is consistency - and a virtue, and that to climb out of the rut is inconsistency - and a vice.

Life is short. Forgive quickly, kiss slowly and love truly .

Politicians, old buildings, and prostitutes become respectable with age.

My memory was never loaded with anything but blank cartridges.

In God We Trust. I don't believe it would sound any better if it were true.

Fortune knocks at every man's door once in a life, but in a good many cases the man is in a neighboring saloon and does not hear her.

At noon I observed a bevy of nude young native women bathing in the sea, and I went and sat down on their clothes to keep them from being stolen.

I think we never become really and genuinely our entire and honest selves until we are dead--and not then until we have been dead years and years. People ought to start dead, and they would be honest so much earlier.

In religion, India is the only millionaire... the One land that all men desire to see, and having seen once, by even a glimpse, would not give that glimpse for all the shows of all the rest of the globe combined.

I am only human, although I regret it.

The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out, the conservative adopt.

It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it .

Every man is a moon; he has a side no one sees.

The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little.

I have seen slower people than I am and more deliberate... and even quieter, and more listless, and lazier people than I am. But they were dead.

I have seen slower people than I am and more deliberate... and even quieter, and more listless, and lazier people than I am. But they were dead.

Man is the Reasoning Animal. Such is the claim. I think it is open to dispute.

I was young and foolish then; now I am old and foolisher .

Seventy is old enough. After that there is too much risk.

Blasphemy? No, it is not blasphemy. If God is as vast as that, he is above blasphemy; if he is as little as that, He is beneath it.

Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principal one was that they escaped teething.

If you tell the truth you do not need a good memory!

There are no grades of vanity; there are only grades of ability in concealing it .