Others

Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.

A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.

An author values a compliment even when it comes from a source of doubtful competency.

Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream.

It is my belief that nearly any invented quotation, played with confidence, stands a good chance to deceive .

I have achieved my seventy years in the usual way: by sticking strictly to a scheme of life which would kill anybody else... I will offer here, as a sound maxim, this: That we can't reach old age by another man's road.

Too bad that youth is wasted on the young.

I've seen many troubles in my time, only half of which ever came true.

Start it at no particular time of your life; wander at your free will all over your life; talk only about the thing which interests you for the moment; drop it the moment its interest threatens to pale.

Start it at no particular time of your life; wander at your free will all over your life; talk only about the thing which interests you for the moment; drop it the moment its interest threatens to pale.

A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.

Ah, that shows you the power of music, that magician of magician, who lifts his wand and says his mysterious word and all things real pass away and the phantoms of your mind walk before you clothed in flesh.

High and fine literature is wine, and mine is only water; but everybody likes water.

A successful book is not made of what is in it, but what is left out of it .

Books are the liberated spirits of men.

The truth is a precious commodity. That's why I use it so sparingly.

Eloquence is the essential thing in a speech, not information.

Whenever we come upon one of those intensely right words in a book or a newspaper the resulting effect is physical as well as spiritual, and electrically prompt.

Whenever we come upon one of those intensely right words in a book or a newspaper the resulting effect is physical as well as spiritual, and electrically prompt.

Never argue with people who buy ink by the gallon.

The longing of my heart is a fairy portrait of myself: I want to be pretty; I want to eliminate facts and fill up the gap with charms .

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.

Of the demonstrably wise there are but two: those who commit suicide, & those who keep their reasoning faculties atrophied with drink.

When a library expels a book of mine and leaves an unexpurgated Bible lying around where unprotected youth and age can get hold of it, the deep unconscious irony of it delights me and doesn't anger me.