Emotions and Feelings

I had the Glory—that will do

349

I had the Glory—that will do—
An Honor, Thought can turn her to
When lesser Fames invite—
With one long "Nay"—
Bliss' early shape
Deforming—Dwindling—Gulfing up—
Time's possibility.

I had not minded—Walls

398

I had not minded—Walls—
Were Universe—one Rock—
And fr I heard his silver Call
The other side the Block—


I'd tunnel—till my Groove
Pushed sudden thro' to his—
Then my face take her Recompense—
The looking in his Eyes—


But 'tis a single Hair—
A filament—a law—
A Cobweb—wove in Adamant—
A Battlement—of Straw—


A limit like the Veil
Unto the Lady's face—
But every Mesh—a Citadel—
And Dragons—in the Crease—

I had not minded—Walls

398

I had not minded—Walls—
Were Universe—one Rock—
And fr I heard his silver Call
The other side the Block—


I'd tunnel—till my Groove
Pushed sudden thro' to his—
Then my face take her Recompense—
The looking in his Eyes—


But 'tis a single Hair—
A filament—a law—
A Cobweb—wove in Adamant—
A Battlement—of Straw—


A limit like the Veil
Unto the Lady's face—
But every Mesh—a Citadel—
And Dragons—in the Crease—

I had no time to Hate

478

I had no time to Hate-
Because
The Grave would hinder Me-
And Life was not so
Ample I
Could finish-Enmity-

Nor had I time to Love-
But since
Some Industry must be-
The little Toil of Love-
I thought
Be large enough for Me-

I had no time to Hate

478

I had no time to Hate-
Because
The Grave would hinder Me-
And Life was not so
Ample I
Could finish-Enmity-

Nor had I time to Love-
But since
Some Industry must be-
The little Toil of Love-
I thought
Be large enough for Me-

I got so I could take his name

293

I got so I could take his nameWithout-
Tremendous gain-
That Stop-sensation-on my Soul-
And Thunder-in the Room-

I got so I could walk across
That Angle in the floor,
Where he turned so, and I turned-how-
And all our Sinew tore-

I got so I could stir the Box-
In which his letters grew
Without that forcing, in my breath-
As Staples-driven through-

Could dimly recollect a Grace-
I think, they call it "God"-
Renowned to ease Extremity-
When Formula, had failed-

And shape my HandsPetition's
way,
Tho' ignorant of a word
That Ordination-utters-

My Business, with the Cloud,
If any Power behind it, be,
Not subject to Despair-
It care, in some remoter way,
For so minute affair
As Misery-
Itself, too vast, for interrupting-more-

I had been hungry all the years-

I had been hungry all the years-
My noon had come, to dine-
I, trembling, drew the table near
And touched the curious wine.


'T was this on tables I had seen
When turning, hungry, lone,
I looked in windows, for the wealth
I could not hope to own.


I did not know the ample bread,
'T was so unlike the crumb
The birds and I had often shared
In Nature's dining-room.


The plenty hurt me, 't was so new,--
Myself felt ill and odd,
As berry of a mountain bush
Transplanted to the road.


Nor was I hungry; so I found
That hunger was a way
Of persons outside windows,
The entering takes away.

I gained it so

359

I gained it so-
By Climbing slow-
By Catching at the Twigs that grow
Between the Bliss-and me-
It hung so high
As well the Sky
Attempt by Strategy-

I said I gained itThis-
was all-
Look, how I clutch it
Lest it fall-
And I a Pauper go-
Unfitted by an instant's Grace
For the Contented-Beggar's face
I wore-an hour ago-

I gained it so

359

I gained it so-
By Climbing slow-
By Catching at the Twigs that grow
Between the Bliss-and me-
It hung so high
As well the Sky
Attempt by Strategy-

I said I gained itThis-
was all-
Look, how I clutch it
Lest it fall-
And I a Pauper go-
Unfitted by an instant's Grace
For the Contented-Beggar's face
I wore-an hour ago-

I felt my life with both my hands

351

I felt my life with both my hands
To see if it was there-
I held my spirit to the Glass,
To prove it possibler-


I turned my Being round and round
And paused at every pound
To ask the Owner's name-
For doubt, that I should know the Sound-


I judged my features-jarred my hair-
I pushed my dimples by, and waited-
If they-twinkled back-
Conviction might, of me-


I told myself, "Take Courage, FriendThat-
was a former time-
But we might learn to like the Heaven,
As well as our Old Home!"

I envy Seas, whereon He rides

498

I envy Seas, whereon He rides-
I envy Spokes of Wheels
Of Chariots, that Him convey-
I envy Crooked Hills

That gaze upon His journey-
How easy All can see
What is forbidden utterly
As Heaven-unto me!

I envy Nests of Sparrows-
That dot His distant Eaves-
The wealthy Fly, upon His Pane-
The happy-happy Leaves-

That just abroad His Window
Have Summer's leave to play-
The Ear Rings of Pizarro
Could not obtain for me-

I envy Light-that wakes Him-
And Bells-that boldly ring
To tell Him it is Noon, abroadMyself-
be Noon to Him-

Yet interdict-my Blossom-
And abrogate-my Bee-
Lest Noon in Everlasting Night-
Drop Gabriel-and Me-

I envy Seas, whereon He rides

498

I envy Seas, whereon He rides-
I envy Spokes of Wheels
Of Chariots, that Him convey-
I envy Crooked Hills

That gaze upon His journey-
How easy All can see
What is forbidden utterly
As Heaven-unto me!

I envy Nests of Sparrows-
That dot His distant Eaves-
The wealthy Fly, upon His Pane-
The happy-happy Leaves-

That just abroad His Window
Have Summer's leave to play-
The Ear Rings of Pizarro
Could not obtain for me-

I envy Light-that wakes Him-
And Bells-that boldly ring
To tell Him it is Noon, abroadMyself-
be Noon to Him-

Yet interdict-my Blossom-
And abrogate-my Bee-
Lest Noon in Everlasting Night-
Drop Gabriel-and Me-

I felt a cleaving in my mind

I felt a cleaving in my mind
As if my brain had split;

I tried to match it, seam by seam,
But could not make them fit.

The thought behind I strove to join
Unto the thought before,

But sequence ravelled out of reach
Like balls upon a floor.

I dreaded that first Robin, so

348

I dreaded that first Robin, so,
But He is mastered, now,
I'm accustomed to Him grown,
He hurts a little, though-


I thought If I could only live
Till that first Shout got by-
Not all Pianos in the Woods
Had power to mangle me-


I dared not meet the Daffodils-
For fear their Yellow Gown
Would pierce me with a fashion
So foreign to my own-


I wished the Grass would hurrySo-
when 'twas time to seeHe'd
be too tall, the tallest one
Could stretch-to look at me-


I could not bear the Bees should come,
I wished they'd stay away
In those dim countries where they go,
What word had they, for me?


They're here, though; not a creature failed-
No Blossom stayed away
In gentle deference to me-
The Queen of Calvary-


Each one salutes me, as he goes,
And I, my childish Plumes,
Lift, in bereaved acknowledgment
Of their unthinking Drums-

I cried at Pity—not at Pain

588

I cried at Pity—not at Pain—
I heard a Woman say
"Poor Child"—and something in her voice
Convicted me—of me—


So long I fainted, to myself
It seemed the common way,
And Health, and Laughter, Curious things—
To look at, like a Toy—


To sometimes hear "Rich people" buy
And see the Parcel rolled—
And carried, I supposed—to Heaven,
For children, made of Gold—


But not to touch, or wish for,
Or think of, with a sigh—
And so and so—had been to me,
Had God willed differently.


I wish I knew that Woman's name—
So when she comes this way,
To hold my life, and hold my ears
For fear I hear her say


She's "sorry I am dead"—again—
Just when the Grave and I—
Have sobbed ourselves almost to sleep,
Our only Lullaby—

I cried at Pity—not at Pain

588

I cried at Pity—not at Pain—
I heard a Woman say
"Poor Child"—and something in her voice
Convicted me—of me—


So long I fainted, to myself
It seemed the common way,
And Health, and Laughter, Curious things—
To look at, like a Toy—


To sometimes hear "Rich people" buy
And see the Parcel rolled—
And carried, I supposed—to Heaven,
For children, made of Gold—


But not to touch, or wish for,
Or think of, with a sigh—
And so and so—had been to me,
Had God willed differently.


I wish I knew that Woman's name—
So when she comes this way,
To hold my life, and hold my ears
For fear I hear her say


She's "sorry I am dead"—again—
Just when the Grave and I—
Have sobbed ourselves almost to sleep,
Our only Lullaby—

I cried at Pity—not at Pain

588

I cried at Pity—not at Pain—
I heard a Woman say
"Poor Child"—and something in her voice
Convicted me—of me—


So long I fainted, to myself
It seemed the common way,
And Health, and Laughter, Curious things—
To look at, like a Toy—


To sometimes hear "Rich people" buy
And see the Parcel rolled—
And carried, I supposed—to Heaven,
For children, made of Gold—


But not to touch, or wish for,
Or think of, with a sigh—
And so and so—had been to me,
Had God willed differently.


I wish I knew that Woman's name—
So when she comes this way,
To hold my life, and hold my ears
For fear I hear her say


She's "sorry I am dead"—again—
Just when the Grave and I—
Have sobbed ourselves almost to sleep,
Our only Lullaby—

I cautious, scanned my little life

178

I cautious, scanned my little life-
I winnowed what would fade
From what would last till Heads like mine
Should be a-dreaming laid.


I put the latter in a Barn-
The former, blew away.
I went one winter morning
And lo - my priceless Hay


Was not upon the "Scaffold"-
Was not upon the "Beam"-
And from a thriving Farmer-
A Cynic, I became.


Whether a Thief did it-
Whether it was the wind-
Whether Deity's guiltless-
My business is, to find!


So I begin to ransack!
How is it Hearts, with Thee?
Art thou within the little Barn
Love provided Thee?

I could die—to know

570

I could die—to know—
'Tis a trifling knowledge—
News-Boys salute the Door—
Carts—joggle by—
Morning's bold face—stares in the window—
Were but mine—the Charter of the least Fly—


Houses hunch the House
With their Brick Shoulders—
Coals—from a Rolling Load—rattle—how—near—
To the very Square—His foot is passing—
Possibly, this moment—
While I—dream—Here—

I could die—to know

570

I could die—to know—
'Tis a trifling knowledge—
News-Boys salute the Door—
Carts—joggle by—
Morning's bold face—stares in the window—
Were but mine—the Charter of the least Fly—


Houses hunch the House
With their Brick Shoulders—
Coals—from a Rolling Load—rattle—how—near—
To the very Square—His foot is passing—
Possibly, this moment—
While I—dream—Here—

I cannot live with You (No. 640)

I cannot live with You--
It would be Life--
And Life is over there--
Behind the Shelf

The Sexton keeps the Key to--
Putting up
Our Life--His Porcelain--
Like a Cup--

Discarded of the Housewife-Quaint--
or Broke--
A newer Sevres pleases--
Old Ones crack--

I could not die--with You--
For One must wait
To shut the Other's Gaze down-You--
could not--

And I--could I stand by
And see You--freeze--
Without my Right of Frost-Death's
privilege?

Nor could I rise--with You--
Because Your Face
Would put out Jesus'--
That New Grace

Glow plain--and foreign
On my homesick Eye--
Except that You than He
Shone closer by-


They'd judge Us--How--
For You--served Heaven--You know,
Or sought to--
I could not--

Because You saturated Sight--
And I had no more Eyes
For sordid excellence
As Paradise

And were You lost, I would be--
Though My Name
Rang loudest
On the Heavenly fame--

And were You--saved--
And I--condemned to be


Where You were not--
That self--were Hell to Me--

So We must meet apart--
You there--I--here--
With just the Door ajar
That Oceans are--and Prayer--
And that White Sustenance--
Despair--

I cannot live with You (No. 640)

I cannot live with You--
It would be Life--
And Life is over there--
Behind the Shelf

The Sexton keeps the Key to--
Putting up
Our Life--His Porcelain--
Like a Cup--

Discarded of the Housewife-Quaint--
or Broke--
A newer Sevres pleases--
Old Ones crack--

I could not die--with You--
For One must wait
To shut the Other's Gaze down-You--
could not--

And I--could I stand by
And see You--freeze--
Without my Right of Frost-Death's
privilege?

Nor could I rise--with You--
Because Your Face
Would put out Jesus'--
That New Grace

Glow plain--and foreign
On my homesick Eye--
Except that You than He
Shone closer by-


They'd judge Us--How--
For You--served Heaven--You know,
Or sought to--
I could not--

Because You saturated Sight--
And I had no more Eyes
For sordid excellence
As Paradise

And were You lost, I would be--
Though My Name
Rang loudest
On the Heavenly fame--

And were You--saved--
And I--condemned to be


Where You were not--
That self--were Hell to Me--

So We must meet apart--
You there--I--here--
With just the Door ajar
That Oceans are--and Prayer--
And that White Sustenance--
Despair--

I cannot buy it—'tis not sold

840

I cannot buy it—'tis not sold—
There is no other in the World—
Mine was the only one


I was so happy I forgot
To shut the Door And it went out
And I am all alone—


If I could find it Anywhere
I would not mind the journey there
Though it took all my store


But just to look it in the Eye—
"Did'st thou?" "Thou did'st not mean," to say,
Then, turn my Face away.

I can wade Grief

252

I can wade Grief-
Whole Pools of itI'm
used to that-
But the least push of Joy
Breaks up my feet-
And I tip-drunken-
Let no Pebble-smile'
Twas the New Liquor-
That was all!

Power is only Pain-
Stranded, thro' Discipline,
Till Weights-will hang-
Give Balm-to Giants-
And they'll wilt, like Men-
Give HimmalehThey'll
Carry-Him!