Life and Existence

If He dissolve—then—there is nothing

236

If He dissolve—then—there is nothing—more—
Eclipse—at Midnight—
It was dark—before—
Sunset—at Easter—
Blindness—on the Dawn—
Faint Star of Bethlehem—
Gone down!


Would but some God—inform Him—
Or it be too late!
Say—that the pulse just lisps—
The Chariots wait—


Say—that a little life—for His—
Is leaking—red—
His little Spaniel—tell Him!
Will He heed?

Ideals are the Fairly Oil

983

Ideals are the Fairly Oil
With which we help the Wheel
But when the Vital Axle turns
The Eye rejects the Oil.

If anybody's friend be dead

509

If anybody's friend be dead
It's sharpest of the theme
The thinking how they walked alive-
At such and such a time-

Their costume, of a Sunday,
Some manner of the Hair-
A prank nobody knew but them
Lost, in the Sepulchre-

How warm, they were, on such a day,
You almost feel the date-
So short way off it seems-
And now-they're Centuries from that-

How pleased they were, at what you said-
You try to touch the smile
And dip your fingers in the frost-
When was it-Can you tell-

You asked the Company to teaAcquaintance-
just a few-
And chatted close with this Grand Thing
That don't remember you-

Past Bows, and Invitations-
Past Interview, and Vow-
Past what Ourself can estimateThat-
makes the Quick of Woe!

If anybody's friend be dead

509

If anybody's friend be dead
It's sharpest of the theme
The thinking how they walked alive-
At such and such a time-

Their costume, of a Sunday,
Some manner of the Hair-
A prank nobody knew but them
Lost, in the Sepulchre-

How warm, they were, on such a day,
You almost feel the date-
So short way off it seems-
And now-they're Centuries from that-

How pleased they were, at what you said-
You try to touch the smile
And dip your fingers in the frost-
When was it-Can you tell-

You asked the Company to teaAcquaintance-
just a few-
And chatted close with this Grand Thing
That don't remember you-

Past Bows, and Invitations-
Past Interview, and Vow-
Past what Ourself can estimateThat-
makes the Quick of Woe!

I years had been from home,

I years had been from home,
And now, before the door,
I dared not open, lest a face
I never saw before


Stare vacant into mine
And ask my business there.
My business,--just a life I left,
Was such still dwelling there?


I fumbled at my nerve,
I scanned the windows near;
The silence like an ocean rolled,
And broke against my ear.


I laughed a wooden laugh
That I could fear a door,
Who danger and the dead had faced,
But never quaked before.


I fitted to the latch
My hand, with trembling care,
Lest back the awful door should spring,
And leave me standing there.


I moved my fingers off
As cautiously as glass,
And held my ears, and like a thief
Fled gasping from the house.

I was the slightest in the House

486

I was the slightest in the House-
I took the smallest Room-
At night, my little Lamp, and Book-
And one Geranium-

So stationed I could catch the Mint
That never ceased to fall-
And just my Basket-
Let me think-I'm sure-
That this was all-

I never spoke-unless addressed-
And then, 'twas brief and low-
I could not bear to live-aloud-
The Racket shamed me so-

And if it had not been so far-
And any one I knew
Were going-I had often thought
How noteless-I could die-

I went to heaven,--

I went to heaven,-'
T was a small town,
Lit with a ruby,
Lathed with down.
Stiller than the fields
At the full dew,
Beautiful as pictures
No man drew.
People like the moth,
Of mechlin, frames,
Duties of gossamer,
And eider names.
Almost contented
I could be
'Mong such unique
Society.

I tried to think a lonelier Thing

532

I tried to think a lonelier Thing
Than any I had seen-
Some Polar Expiation-An Omen in the Bone
Of Death's tremendous nearness-

I probed Retrieverless things
My Duplicate-to borrow-
A Haggard Comfort springs

From the belief that Somewhere-
Within the Clutch of Thought-
There dwells one other Creature
Of Heavenly Love-forgot-

I plucked at our Partition
As One should pry the Walls-
Between Himself-and Horror's Twin-
Within Opposing Cells-

I almost strove to clasp his Hand,
Such Luxury-it grew-
That as Myself-could pity Him-
Perhaps he-pitied me-

I tie my Hat—I crease my Shawl

443

I tie my Hat—I crease my Shawl—
Life's little duties do—precisely—
As the very least
Were infinite—to me—


I put new Blossoms in the Glass—
And throw the old—away—
I push a petal from my gown
That anchored there—I weigh
The time 'twill be till six o'clock
I have so much to do—
And yet—Existence—some way back—
Stopped—struck—my tickling—through—
We cannot put Ourself away
As a completed Man
Or Woman—When the Errand's done
We came to Flesh—upon—
There may be—Miles on Miles of Nought—
Of Action—sicker far—
To simulate—is stinging work—
To cover what we are
From Science—and from Surgery—
Too Telescopic Eyes
To bear on us unshaded—
For their—sake—not for Ours—
'Twould start them—
We—could tremble—
But since we got a Bomb—
And held it in our Bosom—
Nay—Hold it—it is calm—


Therefore—we do life's labor—
Though life's Reward—be done—
With scrupulous exactness—
To hold our Senses—on—

I tie my Hat—I crease my Shawl

443

I tie my Hat—I crease my Shawl—
Life's little duties do—precisely—
As the very least
Were infinite—to me—


I put new Blossoms in the Glass—
And throw the old—away—
I push a petal from my gown
That anchored there—I weigh
The time 'twill be till six o'clock
I have so much to do—
And yet—Existence—some way back—
Stopped—struck—my tickling—through—
We cannot put Ourself away
As a completed Man
Or Woman—When the Errand's done
We came to Flesh—upon—
There may be—Miles on Miles of Nought—
Of Action—sicker far—
To simulate—is stinging work—
To cover what we are
From Science—and from Surgery—
Too Telescopic Eyes
To bear on us unshaded—
For their—sake—not for Ours—
'Twould start them—
We—could tremble—
But since we got a Bomb—
And held it in our Bosom—
Nay—Hold it—it is calm—


Therefore—we do life's labor—
Though life's Reward—be done—
With scrupulous exactness—
To hold our Senses—on—

I think the longest Hour of all

635

I think the longest Hour of all
Is when the Cars have come-
And we are waiting for the Coach-
It seems as though the Time

Indignant-that the Joy was come-
Did block the Gilded Hands-
And would not let the Seconds by-
But slowest instant-ends-

The Pendulum begins to count-
Like little Scholars-loud-
The steps grow thicker-in the Hall-
The Heart begins to crowd-

Then I-my timid service done-
Tho' service 'twas, of Love-
Take up my little Violin-
And further North-remove.

I think just how my shape will rise

237

I think just how my shape will rise-
When I shall be "forgiven"-
Till Hair-and Eyes-and timid Head-
Are out of sight-in Heaven-

I think just how my lips will weigh-
With shapeless-quivering-prayer-
That you-so late-"Consider" me-
The "Sparrow" of your Care-

I mind me that of Anguish-sent-
Some drifts were moved away-
Before my simple bosom-broke-
And why not this-if they?

And so I con that thing-"forgiven"Until-
delirious-borne-
By my long bright-and longer-trust-
I drop my Heart-unshriven!

I shall know why—when Time is over

193

I shall know why—when Time is over—
And I have ceased to wonder why—
Christ will explain each separate anguish
In the fair schoolroom of the sky—


He will tell me what "Peter" promised—
And I—for wonder at his woe—
I shall forget the drop of Anguish
That scalds me now—that scalds me now!

I shall know why—when Time is over

193

I shall know why—when Time is over—
And I have ceased to wonder why—
Christ will explain each separate anguish
In the fair schoolroom of the sky—


He will tell me what "Peter" promised—
And I—for wonder at his woe—
I shall forget the drop of Anguish
That scalds me now—that scalds me now!

I saw no Way—The Heavens were stitched

378

I saw no Way—The Heavens were stitched—
I felt the Columns close—
The Earth reversed her Hemispheres—
I touched the Universe—


And back it slid—and I alone—
A Speck upon a Ball—
Went out upon Circumference—
Beyond the Dip of Bell—

I reason, Earth is short

301

I reason, Earth is short-
And Anguish-absolute-
And many hurt,
But, what of that?


I reason, we could die-
The best Vitality
Cannot excel Decay,
But, what of that?


I reason, that in Heaven-
Somehow, it will be even-
Some new Equation, given-
But, what of that?

I prayed, at first, a little Girl

576

I prayed, at first, a little Girl,
Because they told me to-
But stopped, when qualified to guess
How prayer would feel-to me-

If I believed God looked around,
Each time my Childish eye
Fixed full, and steady, on his own
In Childish honesty-

And told him what I'd like, today,
And parts of his far plan
That baffled me-
The mingled side
Of his Divinity-

And often since, in Danger,
I count the force 'twould be
To have a God so strong as that
To hold my life for me

Till I could take the Balance
That tips so frequent, now,
It takes me all the while to poise-
And then-it doesn't stay-

I prayed, at first, a little Girl

576

I prayed, at first, a little Girl,
Because they told me to-
But stopped, when qualified to guess
How prayer would feel-to me-

If I believed God looked around,
Each time my Childish eye
Fixed full, and steady, on his own
In Childish honesty-

And told him what I'd like, today,
And parts of his far plan
That baffled me-
The mingled side
Of his Divinity-

And often since, in Danger,
I count the force 'twould be
To have a God so strong as that
To hold my life for me

Till I could take the Balance
That tips so frequent, now,
It takes me all the while to poise-
And then-it doesn't stay-

I never lost as much but twice

49

I never lost as much but twice,
And that was in the sod.
Twice have I stood a beggar
Before the door of God!


Angels-twice descending
Reimbursed my store-
Burglar! Banker-Father!
I am poor once more!

I never felt at Home—Below

413

I never felt at Home—Below—-
And in the Handsome Skies
I shall not feel at Home—I know—
I don't like Paradise—


Because it's Sunday—all the time—
And Recess—never comes—
And Eden'll be so lonesome
Bright Wednesday Afternoons—


If God could make a visit—
Or ever took a Nap—
So not to see us—but they say
Himself—a Telescope


Perennial beholds us—
Myself would run away
From Him—and Holy Ghost—and All—
But there's the "Judgement Day"!

I never felt at Home—Below

413

I never felt at Home—Below—-
And in the Handsome Skies
I shall not feel at Home—I know—
I don't like Paradise—


Because it's Sunday—all the time—
And Recess—never comes—
And Eden'll be so lonesome
Bright Wednesday Afternoons—


If God could make a visit—
Or ever took a Nap—
So not to see us—but they say
Himself—a Telescope


Perennial beholds us—
Myself would run away
From Him—and Holy Ghost—and All—
But there's the "Judgement Day"!

I ment to find her when I came;

I meant to find her when I came;
Death had the same design;
But the success was his, it seems,
And the discomfit mine.

I meant to tell her how I longed
For just this single time;
But Death had told her so the first,
And she had hearkened him.

To wander now is my abode;
To rest,--to rest would be
A privilege of hurricane
To memory and me.

I many times thought Peace had come

739

I many times thought Peace had come
When Peace was far away-
As Wrecked Men-deem they sight the Land-
At Centre of the Sea-

And struggle slacker-but to prove
As hopelessly as I-
How many the fictitious Shores-
Before the Harbor be-

I meant to have but modest needs

476

I meant to have but modest needs-
Such as Content-and Heaven-
Within my income-these could lie
And Life and I-keep even-

But since the last-included both-
It would suffice my Prayer
But just for One-to stipulate-
And Grace would grant the Pair-

And so-upon this wise-I prayed-
Great Spirit-Give to me
A Heaven not so large as Yours,
But large enough-for me-

A Smile suffused Jehovah's face-
The Cherubim-withdrew-
Grave Saints stole out to look at me-
And showed their dimples-too-

I left the Place, with all my might-
I threw my Prayer away-
The Quiet Ages picked it up-
And Judgment-twinkled-too-
Tat one so honest-be extant-
It take the Tale for true-
That "Whatsoever Ye shall ask-
Itself be given You"-

But I, grown shrewder-scan the Skies
With a suspicious Air-
As Children-swindled for the first
All Swindlers-be-infer-