Razors pain you; / Rivers are damp; / Acids stain · Dorothy Parker

Now I know the things I know, / And do the things

Razors pain you; / Rivers are damp; / Acids stain you; / And drugs cause cramp. / Guns aren’t lawful; / Nooses give; / Gas smells awful; /You might as well live.

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Dorothy Parker

1893-08-22 — 1967-06-07 · West End

Dorothy Parker was an American poet, short story writer, critic, and satirist, celebrated for her sharp wit and cynical observations. A founding member of the Algonquin Round Table, she became a prominent voice in early 20th-century American literature. Her work, often characterized by its brevity and poignant irony, explored themes of love, loss, and societal hypocrisy, cementing her reputation as a master of the epigram and a keen social commentator.