Vida e Existência

Occasion cannot make me weak or strong
For mine own soul the true occasion is,
Nor shall I measure fact more short or long
Except the soul's rod space exceed or miss.

Like a revolving many‑coloured sphere
My soul turns to the event one casual side,
And shows to it what was already there;
Its hue with the turned hue the effect decide.

So, various by position, not by shape,
Outward in truth but by its motion’s seeing,
The produced act cannot foreseeing escape
Save it take colour of act for shape of being.

I am the same; change cannot change me for
More than mine own illusion of what is more.

Tell me again the music of that tale
Thy nurse wit sang so oft by my soul's bed,
Whose words and persons from my memory fade,
But in the melody remembered.

Thou mightst shift all the pawns of that told game
And, so the music made it far off be,
I shall still hear the tale as if the same,
Far bark on seas of the same melody.

What fairy castles and closed beauties lie
On moonlight of not‑life away from where
Loss is, truth kills, what charms must be put by,
And but the still‑to‑be keeps fresh & fair.

What matter the song, so by it the soul weeps
Lost kinship with its antenatal sleeps?

O FUTURO

Sei que me espera qualquer coisa
Mas não sei que coisa me espera.

Como um quarto escuro
Que eu temo quando creio que nada temo
Mas só o temo, por ele, temo em vão.
Não é uma presença; é um frio e um medo.
O mistério da morte a mim o liga.

Ao [...] fim do meu poema.

O FUTURO

Sei que me espera qualquer coisa
Mas não sei que coisa me espera.

Como um quarto escuro
Que eu temo quando creio que nada temo
Mas só o temo, por ele, temo em vão.
Não é uma presença; é um frio e um medo.
O mistério da morte a mim o liga.

Ao [...] fim do meu poema.

Now are no Janus' temple‑doors thrown wide
To utter thougts of war upon the land.
Now doth no double facing God divide
Him from himself, that sight of him may brand
The symbol of opposed things upon
Our hearts that at our eyes on him are thrown.
Now do no pagan cults tremble at Mars' name
Because bad‑auguring birds like clouds have flown
O'er nations' frontiers, nor do oracles frame
Strange answers unto ears of armoured chiefs,
Replies that leave perplexed their perplexed eyes
That know not whether that heart‑pang they hear
Is the first grief heralding their peoples' griefs
Or the strange cold that the Gods' mysteries
Speak to his soul that is to conquest near.

No. All is dead that wreathed war round with Gods.
Nor omens mute, nor the foiled sacrifice,
No dim words spoken by spilt blood on sods.
Nay, nor the later sense that vice and sloth,
When in a people's heart they nestle both
Do on them call the wrath of heaven, us move.
Our souls are void, like a stage mummer's cries
And our hate and our love mock hate and love.

Something of coldness, like the coming winter,
Crosses our autumn like a profecy.
Round our leaves now no swallows circle and twitter.
No more, no more, shall we heart‑wholesome be.
There is a sadness that with us doth stay
Like a billetted guest, and far away
Our ultimate death awaits us like a sea.

Alas! that even the poesy of wars
Should, like a tired thing, have gone where things go.
Alas! alas! that we have come thus far
Knowing still the same nothing that we know,
To meet more than ourselves, nor no throe
That shall be herald of a newer man.
And ever as the old woes the cold new woe
Fills with its deathless measure our life's span.

No, even the Christian manner of love or hate
Is dead. No God that lives in us survives
The winter in us that snow‑kills God and Fate
And has iced o'er the rivers of our lives.
With cuirass and with pike we laid aside
All that made battle worth the death in it.
Our science‑made war‑gestures now deride
The great eternal things that war doth fit
With helm and armour.
With mortal pomp yet pomp. We are on death's side.

All is as if were not part of it.
All clashes, rings and turmoils as if far.
The foiled imagining within our wit
Ousts war's clear image with bare thought of war.
Our plans are cold, our courage cold, our eyes
When they look inwards dream but the far plain
And vague, picture‑seen faces and their pain
Touches no sense of ours, nor do dreamed cries
Rise in us. What cold thing has become of
Our very hatred? What way has strength gone?
We die as if the sky were not above
Our heads and beneath us sand, grass and stone.

The great eternal presence of all things
No longer doth with us collaborate
To lift our hearts up on invisible wings
And bid us tremble at the thrill of Fate.
The possible fall of empires doth no more
Touch us with that great and mysterious dread
That John on Pathmos saw rise o'er his head
Like a space‑filling sea without a shore.

Alas! our nobler fear has gone away
Where our weariness pointed. We are blind
And learned to blindness. Our wild gestures stray
From us like leaves that fall far off with the wind,
And we fight clearly, coldly, night and day.

These things I thought, knowing that far behind
My visible horizon war was slave
Of that Invisible Master who doth wave
His speechless hand o'er continents and seas
And men like reaped things fall, and the blind wind
With groping hands that in the night are blind
Touches the dead men's faces' mysteries.

This I thought when, lo! before me there was
A door of iron, or what iron seemed,
An unsized portal, and its live‑seeming lock
Seemed all the uses of a lock to mock.
To see that door was to know none could pass
Through it, nor could its other‑side be dreamed.

A ribbon of broad stairs led up to it
But had no meaning, like a laugh unseen,
I looked and the door seemed to sway as hit
By blows, but no blows fell on it. That screen
Was interposed between me and no scene,
Yet, like an eye staring from out the night,
It touched my heart cold with its iron mean.
And this was not in space nor in a light.

Somewhere in me where dreams do themselves show
And have an inner meaning God doth know,
The door was set, and it seemed to my soul
That there since some inner eternity
It ever had been and I something had seen,
Yet half forgot, that like a half‑shown scroll,
Concealed its sense in what it showed to me.

And lo! as my heart looked, the door grew clear
As a near‑lit thing seen in a black night,
And a great sense of a great coming fear
Was fear already in my heart's affright.
Then as I looked I saw - yet it did seem
That in my vision that had ever been -
From beneath the strange door down the steps flow
A string of silent blood, that step by step,
Fell with a motion desolate and slow.

The thin red stream seemed conscious of its course
Though its course seemed to be none, but to fall.
I looked and it fell ever, with a force
Of relinquishment to its fall, a knell
To some hope in me, and the blood
That ever was but a small line did flood
All my pained soul and made it red. The spell
Of its thin redness spreade o'er my thought's mood
And all my thoughts became a great red wall
Set up in front of what in me doth brood.

Then everything shifted, yet was the same.
I looked on as one who sees a child's game
And finds its eyes at interest in it
And knows not why. A sense of end did hit
My power of having feelings with a rain
That did with deep red all my dim soul stain
As it had stained that soul.

Then all the outer world was dashed to night
And, though no floor remained, no sides, no light
To that space‑missed new world, set far from being,
Yet by some clearer virtue of my seeing
All I saw was without nor left nor right
With a name to it, without a place
Even in itself, without an I to see.
The mere great door and the red blood's thin trace
And all the rest was void and mystery.

Then all again seemed changing unto some
New, unimaginable and fearful thing.
The door and that blood‑line seemed to come
A strange new‑featured Face looking out through
The Universe's whole frame, traversing
It like light an invisible glass - a wing
Belonging to no bird our thoughts construe.

Then the door seemed to recede - nay, to have
Receded, when I knew not, nor was there
A when, for Time seem'd as seems a far wave
On a wide sea, something gone past. The bare
Eternal door seemed to have gone to the end
Of a visible infinity, and all
That now remained on which my soul could spend
Its terror was the blood ever at its fall.

Then, though still the same small line of red,
The blood seeemed to grow glass and in it I saw
A mighty river full of strange things - dead
Men, children, wrecks of bridges, cities, thrones,
And still the line was a small red line, (...)
Of other meaning than that
That before God for the clear world atones.

But the (...) visions in that line contained
Seemed wide as space. The red line seemed a slit
In a thin door through which our eyes can see
Large fields, a city and the whole sky stained
With clouds, and all this in the line could be;
And from some unknown where I looked on it.

It seemed the edge of a cube opening
Sideways to sides of visions, more and more.
Now and then across its glass - like being a wing
Passed a tremor ran over everything
That had in it a clear and tragic being.
Then ceased. And from, past space, the door
Still held my unconscious consciousness of seeing.

It seemed sometimes a bright, red moving veil
And through it as through a stained window I guessed
A night and stars on a vague pale day pressed,
On a same horizon desolate and pale.

Then, as I stared, suddenly before me,
Like a fan suddenly opened, the blood‑line
Took space from side to side, leaving naught to me
Left or right of it. Its red (...) fact
Became a red Niagara, a cataract.
But there were no steps, nothing: it did fall
As if drawn in the air, over no edge, and all
Was this and this was its own mystery.

Then lo! over the edge, no longer now,
But empires rolled, and I saw Greece and Rome
Pass. And still over the eternal flow
Reddened from left to right my inner sight's home
Of seeing. And all like to God's blood did come
Like a great rain off a huge thorn‑crowned brow.

And I saw more and more strange empires roll
Down and some I knew not, nor seeing them, guessed.
Awhile their falling the fall's brink caressed
Then they sunk down somewhere within my soul,
And my soul was the soul of all the world,
And from my (...) eyes that saw all this
Suddenly I felt, as if a flag unfurled,
God in me look out at these mysteries.

My eyes seemed windows of another sight
Of someone set behind my soul in the night
Looking through my eyes and my sight, mine own
Was but a glass those unknown eyes looked through,
And still the vision was blood falling down
In cataracts into Mystery, red and slow.

I became one with world and Fate and God,
And the great River that came on and fell
Let me see through its veil of (...) blood
The stars shine and a vague moonlight, then fell
Something from me. The cataract came more near
To my sight; then it seemed into mine eyes
To creep to become with them and the fear
To pass behind them into some soul (...).

Then all that did remain was the stars light
And again in the dark infinity
My pity and my dread alone with me
And my dream's meaning like a paling night.

Tenho pena até... nem sei...
Do próprio mal que passei
Pois passei quando passou.

Tenho pena até... nem sei...
Do próprio mal que passei
Pois passei quando passou.

PASSAGEM DAS HORAS OU WALT WHITMAN

Eu, o ritmista febril
Para quem o parágrafo de versos é uma pessoa inteira,
Para quem, por baixo da metáfora aparente,
Como em estrofe, anti-estrofe, epodo o poema que escrevo,
Que por detrás do delírio construo
Que por detrás de sentir penso
Que amo, expludo, rujo, com ordem e oculta medida,
Eu ante ti quereria ter menos de engenheiro na alma,
Menos de grego das máquinas, de Bacante de Apolo
Nos meus momentos de alma multiplicados em verso.

Mas o ar do mar alto
Chega, por um influxo de dentro do meu sangue
Ao meu cérebro desterrado em terra,
E a fúria com que medito, a raiva com que me domino
Abre-se como uma vela, tomada de vento, aos ares
Ampla servidão ao rasgo de assombro dos (...)

O bêbado caía de bêbado
        E eu, que passava,
Não o ajudei, pois caía de bêbado,
        E eu só passava.
O bêbado caiu de bêbado
        No meio da rua.
E eu não me voltei, mas ouvi. Eu bêbado
        E a sua queda na rua.
O bêbado caiu de bêbado
        Na rua da vida.
Meu Deus! Eu também caí de bêbado
        Deus (...)

Rezas a Deus ao deitar-te
Pedindo não sei o quê.
Se rezasses ao demónio,
Eu saberia o que é.

O abismo é o muro que tenho
Ser eu não tem um tamanho.

Todas as horas faço gaffes de civilidade e etiqueta
(A vida social é complexa para a minha fraqueza de nervos)
Mas nunca existiu quem só tivesse vivido em alma
Numa eterna luta de Janus.

Arre, a humanidade é uma coisa muito complexa...
Tenho-a observado com os olhos e os
nervos, e ainda não percebi.
(Compreender é um navio ao longe)

Toda a gente que tenho conhecido

Estou farto de semi-deuses!
Onde é que há gente no mundo?

Não tenho um amigo, um conhecido, em quem batessem
Ninguém que eu conheça perdeu o amor de uma mulher.
Tenho feito muitas coisas más, muitas coisas reles, muitas infâmias.
Tenho sido cobarde, revoltante, sujo.
Não encontro ninguém assim.
Todos têm sido príncipes, os que têm andado comigo

Através do ruído do café cheio de gente
Chega-me a brisa que passa pelo convés
Nas longas viagens, no alto mar, no verão
Perto dos trópicos (no amontoado nocturno do navio —
Sacudido regularmente pela hélice palpitante —
Vejo passar os uniformes brancos dos oficiais de bordo).
E essa brisa traz um ruído de mar-alto, pluro-mar
E a nossa civilização não pertence à minha reminiscência.

My soul ‑ what is my soul? But symbols mute
Its horror and confusion can give out:
A desert out of space where absolute
Reigns expectation full of horrid doubt.

It gives the sense that giveth, strange and dark,
Some unknown river weird, hauntingly lone,
In some old picture storiless, sole work
Of some great painter horribly unknown.

It is an island out of human track,
Mysterious, old within the sea and full
Of caves and grottoes unexplored and black,
Pregnant with many horrors possible.

It is an olden inn with corridors
Woven in a labyrinth and scarce of light,
Where through the night the sound of shutting doors,
Vague in its cause and place, fills us with fright.

It is a mountain region wild and free,
Precipiced, hid and silent, never seen,
Where we dare not think of what might have been
Nor wish idea of what things may be.

If ever mystery, romance and fear
Have shown their heart on canvas and on scroll,
It must assuredly to men appear
As to mine inner sense appears my soul.

It is a vision-desert full of rocks
Where all than reason is both more and less,
'Tis a lone coast where the sea's endless shocks
Fill with an empty sound its lifelessness.

Something of lost, forgotten, vague and dead,
Yet waking, as a slumberer mystical
Seems to perceive, for who looks knows with dread
That something he doth see to make appal.

All this my soul is in its weak despair,
Full of sense unto pain, of thought to tears,
Having for meed of reason a mute care,
For company to feeling - woes and fears.

So to my glance, as if with opium wide,
My very self is grown a mystery;
In inexstatic fear Life doth abide
And madness like my breath is within me.

Through this mad mind relentless vaults
A grim ides weird and wild
With a meaning wilder than human fears
A clown in grotesque somersaults;
And I weep at him as a child
        In a man's hard tears.

There is no roof, there is no floor;
Horror! no space is known in all!
‑ Relentlessly I see he vaults! ‑
There is the clown and nothing more,
Who ceaselessly doth rise and fall ‑
The clown in grotesque somersaults.

Relentless, how relentlessly
In me, who seek what means each thing,
This spaceless vision neatly vaults!
My legs to vault almost forget me.
What awful meaning can this bring
        The clown in grotesque somersaults.

She

If every tear of mine were gold
        And every sigh a tear,
Wouldst thou not then with kisses bold
        Entrap them falling clear?
If at each word I spoke of love
        Pearls rained from out the air,
How pleasant would to thee then prove
        To hear me speak for e'er!

He

If at each look of love I cast
        A cheque were signed and made,
If each tear's ending were the last
Touch of received and paid;
If each soft glance were a banknote
        And the same every sigh.
Wouldst thou not have me learn by rote
        Love's shows of misery?

Both

What can we do? What are we both
        But beings of our time?
Gold is the meat of living's broth,
        The vowel of the rhyme.
Even a token sad and old.
        A certain price will woo.
Our love would but be true as gold
        If we were gold all through.

Montanhas, solidões, objectos todos,
Ainda que assim eu tenha de morrer,
Revelai-me a vossa alma, isso que faz
Que se me gele a mente ao perceber
Que realmente existis e em verdade,
Que sois facto, existência, cousas, ser.
Quantos o sentem, quantos, ao ouvir-me
«Estou aqui» compreenderão
Íntima e inteiramente, ouvindo n'alma
A alma da minha voz?
                                  A expressão
Fez-se para o vulgar, para o banal.
A poesia torce-a e dilacera-a;
Mas isto que eu em vão impor-lhe quero
Transcende-lhe o poder e a sugestão.
Metáfora nem símbolo o exprime;
Desespero ao ouvir-me assim dizer
Isso que n'alma tenho. Sinto-o, sinto-o
E só falando não me compreendo.

No mais simples dos factos é que existe
O horror maior: nisto: que há existência.
Sentir isto, eis o horror que não tem nome!
Mas senti-lo a sentir, intimamente,
Não com anseios ou suspiros d'alma,
Mas com pavor supremo, com gelado
Inerte horror de desesperação.

What Death doth take for wife is
What life has of good and of fair;
        The pain of passing's knife is
Not the less that it is everywhere;
        All goes, all flows, all life is
But the wreck of its own self for e'er.

        Yet hope we that this going
A semblance and lie can but be;
        That the river that is flowing
Will find, how far be it, a sea;
        That beyond our frail knowing
A deeper life eternally

Keeps all that seems to wither
All that seems to go wits to-day,
        And that in a way to bother [?]
Our subtlest thoughts to dismay
        Form and matter together
Live e'er in a timeless Alway.

What Death doth take for wife is
What life has of good and of fair;
        The pain of passing's knife is
Not the less that it is everywhere;
        All goes, all flows, all life is
But the wreck of its own self for e'er.

        Yet hope we that this going
A semblance and lie can but be;
        That the river that is flowing
Will find, how far be it, a sea;
        That beyond our frail knowing
A deeper life eternally

Keeps all that seems to wither
All that seems to go wits to-day,
        And that in a way to bother [?]
Our subtlest thoughts to dismay
        Form and matter together
Live e'er in a timeless Alway.

What Death doth take for wife is
What life has of good and of fair;
        The pain of passing's knife is
Not the less that it is everywhere;
        All goes, all flows, all life is
But the wreck of its own self for e'er.

        Yet hope we that this going
A semblance and lie can but be;
        That the river that is flowing
Will find, how far be it, a sea;
        That beyond our frail knowing
A deeper life eternally

Keeps all that seems to wither
All that seems to go wits to-day,
        And that in a way to bother [?]
Our subtlest thoughts to dismay
        Form and matter together
Live e'er in a timeless Alway.

What Death doth take for wife is
What life has of good and of fair;
        The pain of passing's knife is
Not the less that it is everywhere;
        All goes, all flows, all life is
But the wreck of its own self for e'er.

        Yet hope we that this going
A semblance and lie can but be;
        That the river that is flowing
Will find, how far be it, a sea;
        That beyond our frail knowing
A deeper life eternally

Keeps all that seems to wither
All that seems to go wits to-day,
        And that in a way to bother [?]
Our subtlest thoughts to dismay
        Form and matter together
Live e'er in a timeless Alway.

1 .
Depois de se ter passado
Os noventa mais vereis
Vir aquele desejado
Que há-de fundar novas leis.

2 .
Verá o Leão fatal
Que de Portugal lhe vem
O que lhe há-de fazer mal,
Aquele escondido Rei.

3.
Aquela manhã chuvosa
Com névoa muito escura
Verá de Deus a figura
Fazer Lisboa ditosa.

4.
Névoa já é levantada
Lá junto do meio-dia;
Haveis de a ver descoberta
A oitava maravilha.

1 .
Depois de se ter passado
Os noventa mais vereis
Vir aquele desejado
Que há-de fundar novas leis.

2 .
Verá o Leão fatal
Que de Portugal lhe vem
O que lhe há-de fazer mal,
Aquele escondido Rei.

3.
Aquela manhã chuvosa
Com névoa muito escura
Verá de Deus a figura
Fazer Lisboa ditosa.

4.
Névoa já é levantada
Lá junto do meio-dia;
Haveis de a ver descoberta
A oitava maravilha.

CUL DE LAMPE

Pouco a pouco,
Sem que qualquer coisa me falte,
Sem que qualquer coisa me sobre,
Sem que qualquer coisa esteja exactamente na mesma posição,
Vou andando parado,
Vou vivendo morrendo,
Vou sendo eu através de uma quantidade de gente sem ser.
Vou sendo tudo menos eu.
Acabei.

Pouco a pouco,
Sem que ninguém me falasse
(Que importa tudo quanto me tem sido dito na vida?),
Sem que ninguém me escutasse
(Que importa quanto disse e me ouviram dizer?)
Sem que ninguém me quisesse
(Que importa o que disse quem me disse que queria?),
Muito bem...
Pouco a pouco,
Sem nada disso,
Sem nada que não seja isso,
Vou parando,
Vou parar,
Acabei.

Qual acabei!
Estou farto de sentir e de fingir em pensar,
E não acabei ainda.
Ainda estou a escrever versos.
Ainda estou a escrever.
Ainda estou.

(Não, não vou acabar
Ainda...
Não vou acabar.
Acabei.)

Subitamente, na rua transversal, uma janela no alto e que vulto nela?
E o horror de ter perdido a infância em que ali não estive
E o caminho vagabundo da minha consciência inexequível.

Que mais querem? Acabei.
Nem falta o canário da vizinha ó manhã de outro tempo,
Nem som (cheio de cesto) do padeiro na escada
Nem os pregões que não sei já onde estão —
Nem o enterro (ouço as vozes) na rua,
Nem trovão súbito da madeira das tabuinhas de defronte no ar de verão
Nem... quanta coisa, quanta alma, quanto irreparável!
Afinal, agora tudo cocaína...
Meu amor infância!
Meu passado bibe!
Meu repouso pão com manteiga boa à janela!
Basta, que já estou cego para o que vejo!
Arre, acabei!
Basta!