Poems List
I felt a cleaving in my mind
I felt a cleaving in my mind
As if my brain had split;
I tried to match it, seam by seam,
But could not make them fit.
The thought behind I strove to join
Unto the thought before,
But sequence ravelled out of reach
Like balls upon a floor.
I envy Seas, whereon He rides
498
I envy Seas, whereon He rides-
I envy Spokes of Wheels
Of Chariots, that Him convey-
I envy Crooked Hills
That gaze upon His journey-
How easy All can see
What is forbidden utterly
As Heaven-unto me!
I envy Nests of Sparrows-
That dot His distant Eaves-
The wealthy Fly, upon His Pane-
The happy-happy Leaves-
That just abroad His Window
Have Summer's leave to play-
The Ear Rings of Pizarro
Could not obtain for me-
I envy Light-that wakes Him-
And Bells-that boldly ring
To tell Him it is Noon, abroadMyself-
be Noon to Him-
Yet interdict-my Blossom-
And abrogate-my Bee-
Lest Noon in Everlasting Night-
Drop Gabriel-and Me-
I Died For Beauty
I died for beauty, but was scarce
Adjusted in the tomb,
When one who died for truth was lain
In an adjoining room.
He questioned softly why I failed?
"For beauty," I replied.
"And I for truth - the two are one;
We brethren are," he said.
And so, as kinsmen met a-night,
We talked between the rooms,
Until the moss had reached our lips,
And covered up our names.
I dreaded that first Robin, so
348
I dreaded that first Robin, so,
But He is mastered, now,
I'm accustomed to Him grown,
He hurts a little, though-
I thought If I could only live
Till that first Shout got by-
Not all Pianos in the Woods
Had power to mangle me-
I dared not meet the Daffodils-
For fear their Yellow Gown
Would pierce me with a fashion
So foreign to my own-
I wished the Grass would hurrySo-
when 'twas time to seeHe'd
be too tall, the tallest one
Could stretch-to look at me-
I could not bear the Bees should come,
I wished they'd stay away
In those dim countries where they go,
What word had they, for me?
They're here, though; not a creature failed-
No Blossom stayed away
In gentle deference to me-
The Queen of Calvary-
Each one salutes me, as he goes,
And I, my childish Plumes,
Lift, in bereaved acknowledgment
Of their unthinking Drums-
I could not prove the Years had feet
563
I could not prove the Years had feet-
Yet confident they run
Am I, from symptoms that are past
And Series that are done-
I find my feet have further Goals-
I smile upon the Aims
That felt so ample-YesterdayToday's-
have vaster claims-
I do not doubt the self I was
Was competent to me-
But something awkward in the fit-
Proves that-outgrown-I see-
I cried at Pity—not at Pain
588
I cried at Pity—not at Pain—
I heard a Woman say
"Poor Child"—and something in her voice
Convicted me—of me—
So long I fainted, to myself
It seemed the common way,
And Health, and Laughter, Curious things—
To look at, like a Toy—
To sometimes hear "Rich people" buy
And see the Parcel rolled—
And carried, I supposed—to Heaven,
For children, made of Gold—
But not to touch, or wish for,
Or think of, with a sigh—
And so and so—had been to me,
Had God willed differently.
I wish I knew that Woman's name—
So when she comes this way,
To hold my life, and hold my ears
For fear I hear her say
She's "sorry I am dead"—again—
Just when the Grave and I—
Have sobbed ourselves almost to sleep,
Our only Lullaby—
I could die—to know
570
I could die—to know—
'Tis a trifling knowledge—
News-Boys salute the Door—
Carts—joggle by—
Morning's bold face—stares in the window—
Were but mine—the Charter of the least Fly—
Houses hunch the House
With their Brick Shoulders—
Coals—from a Rolling Load—rattle—how—near—
To the very Square—His foot is passing—
Possibly, this moment—
While I—dream—Here—
I cautious, scanned my little life
178
I cautious, scanned my little life-
I winnowed what would fade
From what would last till Heads like mine
Should be a-dreaming laid.
I put the latter in a Barn-
The former, blew away.
I went one winter morning
And lo - my priceless Hay
Was not upon the "Scaffold"-
Was not upon the "Beam"-
And from a thriving Farmer-
A Cynic, I became.
Whether a Thief did it-
Whether it was the wind-
Whether Deity's guiltless-
My business is, to find!
So I begin to ransack!
How is it Hearts, with Thee?
Art thou within the little Barn
Love provided Thee?
I cannot live with You (No. 640)
I cannot live with You--
It would be Life--
And Life is over there--
Behind the Shelf
The Sexton keeps the Key to--
Putting up
Our Life--His Porcelain--
Like a Cup--
Discarded of the Housewife-Quaint--
or Broke--
A newer Sevres pleases--
Old Ones crack--
I could not die--with You--
For One must wait
To shut the Other's Gaze down-You--
could not--
And I--could I stand by
And see You--freeze--
Without my Right of Frost-Death's
privilege?
Nor could I rise--with You--
Because Your Face
Would put out Jesus'--
That New Grace
Glow plain--and foreign
On my homesick Eye--
Except that You than He
Shone closer by-
They'd judge Us--How--
For You--served Heaven--You know,
Or sought to--
I could not--
Because You saturated Sight--
And I had no more Eyes
For sordid excellence
As Paradise
And were You lost, I would be--
Though My Name
Rang loudest
On the Heavenly fame--
And were You--saved--
And I--condemned to be
Where You were not--
That self--were Hell to Me--
So We must meet apart--
You there--I--here--
With just the Door ajar
That Oceans are--and Prayer--
And that White Sustenance--
Despair--
I cannot buy it—'tis not sold
840
I cannot buy it—'tis not sold—
There is no other in the World—
Mine was the only one
I was so happy I forgot
To shut the Door And it went out
And I am all alone—
If I could find it Anywhere
I would not mind the journey there
Though it took all my store
But just to look it in the Eye—
"Did'st thou?" "Thou did'st not mean," to say,
Then, turn my Face away.
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