I have to live for others and not for myself; that's middle class morality.

Morality consists in suspecting other people of not being legally married.

No man ever believes that the Bible means what it says: He is always convinced that it says what he means.

The perfect love affair is one which is conducted entirely by post.

It is a woman's business to get married as soon as possible, and a man's to keep unmarried as long as possible.

Clever and attractive women do not want to vote; they are willing to let men govern as long as they govern men.

If all economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion.

Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.

The real moment of success is not the moment apparent to the crowd.

A man learns to skate by staggering about making a fool of himself; indeed, he progresses in all things by making a fool of himself.