Because I’m Jewish, a lot of people ask why I killed Christ. What can I say? It was an accident. It was one of those parties that got out of hand.

Guys are like dogs. They keep comin’ back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time…they’re gone.

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like 'What I'm Going to be if I Grow up'.

The liberals can understand everything but people who don’t understand them.

I’ll die young, but it’s like kissing God.