I don’t pray because I don’t want to bore God.

There are three intolerable things in life - cold coffee, lukewarm champagne, and overexcited women

I prefer people who rock the boat to people who jump out

If I ever own a restaurant, I will never allow the waiters to ask if the diners like their dishes. Particularly when they're talking.

Hollywood is the only industry, even taking in soup companies, which does not have laboratories for the purpose of experimentation.

When people accept breaking the law as normal, something happens to the whole society.

The two things you cannot do effectively on stage are pray and copulate.

Everybody denies I am a genius - but nobody ever called me one.

My mother and father were both much more remarkable than any story of mine can make them. They seem to me just mythically wonderful.

The enemy of society is middle class and the enemy of life is middle age.