A suburban mother’s role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after.

The difference between satire and humor is that the satirist shoots to kill while the humorist brings his prey back alive— often to release him again for another chance.

It is the final proof of God’s omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save us.

The value of marriage is not that adults produce children but that children produce adults.

Gluttony is an emotional escape, a sign something is eating us.