Quotes to inspire and reflect

What dreadful hot weather we have! It keeps me in a continual state of inelegance.

I prefer the company of peasants because they have not been educated sufficiently to reason incorrectly.

Popularity is the one insult I have never suffered.

I was much distressed by next door people who had twin babies and played the violin; but one of the twins died, and the other has eaten the fiddle - so all is peace.

To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost.

There is no passion like that of a functionary for his function.

If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.

Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them good

The probability that we may fail in the struggle ought not to deter us from the support of a cause we believe to be just.

Make money and the whole nation will conspire to call you a gentleman.

It is after you have lost your teeth that you can afford to buy steaks.

He that respects himself is safe from others. He wears a coat of mail that none can pierce.

I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers.

If the Prince of Peace should come to earth, one of the first things he would do would be to put psychiatrists in their place.

Nothing to me is more distasteful than that entire complacency and satisfaction which beam in the countenances of a newly married couple.

Self is the only prison that can bind the soul.

Man is only man at the surface. Remove the skin, dissect, and immediately you come to machinery.

A painter should not paint what he sees but what should be seen.

The first kiss is stolen by the man; the last is begged by the woman

Platitude: an idea (a) that is admitted to be true by everyone, and (b) that is not true

Statistics show that we lose more fools on this day than on all other days of the year put together. This proves, by the numbers left in stock, that one Fourth of July per year is now inadequate, the country has grown so.

For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermuda is over in two weeks, but a divorce is something you always have.

My motto is: Contented with little, yet wishing for more.

Psychoanalysts are father confessors who like to listen to the sins of the father as well.

One should never know too precisely whom one has married.

The Preacher, the Politicain, the Teacher,
Were each of them once a kiddie.
A child, indeed, is a wonderful creature.
Do I want one? God Forbiddie!

I fell asleep reading a dull book and dreamed I kept on reading, so I awoke from sheer boredom.

My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.

You must have taken great pains, sir; you could not naturally been so very stupid.

A bone to the dog is not charity. Charity is the bone shared with the dog, when you are just as hungry as the dog.

Get this (economic plan) passed. Later on, we can all debate it.

The world makes up for all its follies and injustices by being damnably sentimental. Thomas H.

Patriotism is a pernicious, psychopathic form of idiocy.

Nobody said it was going to be easy, and nobody was right.

A husband should not insult his wife publicly, at parties. He should insult her in the privacy of the home.

In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and kid the people.

There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist, except an old optimist.

If more than ten percent of the population likes a painting it should be burned, for it must be bad.

Nature magically suits a man to his fortunes, by making them the fruit of his character.

There is only one thing a philosopher can be relied upon to do, and that is to contradict other philosophers.

The wisest mind has something yet to learn.

You can be a rank insider as well as a rank outsider.

The proof that man is the noblest of all creatures is that no other creature has ever denied it.

Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it.

The pencil sharpener is about as far as I have ever got in operating a complicated piece of machinery with any success.

Thousands have lived without love, not one without water. W.H.

I passionately hate the idea of being with it. I think an artist has always to be out of step with his time.

If thou are a master, be sometimes blind; if a servant, sometimes deaf.