Quotes
Quotes to inspire and reflect
The best years are the forties; after fifty a man begins to deteriorate, but in the forties he is at the maximum of his villainy."
8
Revolution is a trivial shift in the emphasis of suffering.
15
Creator: a comedian whose audience is afraid to laugh
10
I was never ruined but twice: once when I lost a lawsuit, and once when I won one.
6
If the headache would only precede the intoxication, alcoholism would be a virtue.
8
Sleep is lovely, death is better still, not to have been born is of course the miracle.
13
We all learn by experience but some of us have to go to summer school.
13
Liberal: a power worshipper without power.
8
The only possible form of exercise is to talk, not to walk.
7
Every time a friend succeeds, I die a little.
10
Imagine the Creator as a low comedian, and at once the world becomes explicable."
11
The music at a wedding procession always reminds me of the music of soldiers going into battle.
14
Husbands never become good; they merely become proficient
9
Laughter, while it lasts, slackens and unbraces the mind, weakens the faculties, and causes a kind of remissness and dissolution in all the powers of the soul.
7
Oh God, how do the world and heavens confine themselves, when our hearts tremble in their own barriers!
9
America has begun a spiritual reawakening. Faith and hope are being restored. Americans are turning back to God. Church attendance is up. Audiences for religious books and broadcasts are growing. And I do believe that he has begun to heal our blessed land.
7
Democracy: The worship of jackals by jackasses
9
Wife: a former sweetheart
11
To be conscious that you are ignorant is a great step to knowledge.
6
Grief is a species of idleness.
6
I do not believe in God. I believe in cashmere.
10
My Lord, my Lord! What hast Thou done, lately?
9
The wicked at heart probably know something.
8
Whosover loveth wisdom is righteous, but he that keepeth company with fowl is weird.
8
It has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain when awake.
10
Whosoever shall not fall by the sword or by famine, shall fall by pestilence, so why bother shaving?
8
Wife: one who is sorry she did it, but would undoubtedly do it again."
8
Grub first, then ethics.
22
Communism is like one big phone company.
12
Men have no right to put the well-being of the present generation wholly out of the question. Perhaps the only moral trust with any certainty in our hands is the care of our own time.
11
In order that people may be happy in their work, these three things are needed: They must be fit for it. They must not do too much of it. And they must have a sense of success in it.
7
Nothing spoils a confession like repentance.
17
Sexual enlightenment is justified insofar as girls cannot learn too soon how children do not come into the world.
17
The most common of all follies is to believe passionately in the palpably not true. It is the chief occupation of mankind
10
We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience.
8
A critic is a gong at a railroad crossing clanging loudly and vainly as the train goes by.
12
I find that when I do not think of myself I do not think at all.
13
When I can no longer bear to think of the victims of broken homes, I begin to think of the victims of intact ones.
11
England has forty-two religions and only two sauces.
8
Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
10
If your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no longer be fantasies.
9
The strongest man in the world is he who stands alone.
11
I envy people who drink - at least they know what to blame everything on.
6
The basis of optimism is sheer terror.
9
A Sunday school is a prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents.
11
The country has charms only for those not obliged to stay there.
11
The chief obstacle to the progress of the human race is the human race.
13
Happiness is the perpetual possession of being well deceived.
10