Quotes

Quotes

Quotes to inspire and reflect

Mark Twain
Mark Twain
In Marseilles they make half the toilet soap we consume in America, but the Marseillaise only have a vague theoretical idea of its use, which they have obtained from books of travel.
11
Benjamin Franklin
Benjamin Franklin
A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.
11
Quentin Crisp
Quentin Crisp
Is not the whole world a vast house of assignation to which the filing system has been lost?
30
Fran Lebowitz
Fran Lebowitz
Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
45
Charles de Gaulle
Charles de Gaulle
How can one conceive of a one party system in a country that has over 200 varieties of cheese.
14
G. K. Chesterton
G. K. Chesterton
The poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese. G.K.
9
Sigmund Freud
Sigmund Freud
I have found little that is good about human beings. In my experience most of them are trash.
10
Albert Einstein
Albert Einstein
Technological progress is like an axe in the hands of a pathological criminal.
12
André Malraux
André Malraux
What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets.
17
Isaac Newton
Isaac Newton
Did blind chance know that there was light and what was its refraction, and fit the eyes of all creatures after the most curious manner to make use of it? These and other suchlike considerations, always have, and always will prevail with mankind, to believe that there is a Being who made all things, who has all things in his power, and who is therefore to be feared.
29
Benito Mussolini
Benito Mussolini
The history of saints is mainly the history of insane people.
23
Fred Allen
Fred Allen
Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.
13
George Bernard Shaw
George Bernard Shaw
The world is populated in the main by people who should not exist.
11
Oscar Wilde
Oscar Wilde
Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.
10
Lenny Bruce
Lenny Bruce
Kill one man and you are a murderer. Kill millions and you are a conqueror. Kill all and you are a God. Jean Rostand #0301 Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.
17
Peter de Vries
Peter de Vries
The murals in restaurants are on a par with the food in museums.
14
H. L. Mencken
H. L. Mencken
New York: A third-rate Babylon
10
Oscar Wilde
Oscar Wilde
Journalism justifies its own existence by the great Darwinian principle of the survival of the vulgarist.
14
H. L. Mencken
H. L. Mencken
The best years are the forties; after fifty a man begins to deteriorate, but in the forties he is at the maximum of his villainy."
10
Tom Stoppard
Tom Stoppard
Revolution is a trivial shift in the emphasis of suffering.
17
Voltaire
Voltaire
I was never ruined but twice: once when I lost a lawsuit, and once when I won one.
11
H. L. Mencken
H. L. Mencken
Creator: a comedian whose audience is afraid to laugh
12
Samuel Butler
Samuel Butler
If the headache would only precede the intoxication, alcoholism would be a virtue.
9
Heinrich Heine
Heinrich Heine
Sleep is lovely, death is better still, not to have been born is of course the miracle.
16
Peter de Vries
Peter de Vries
We all learn by experience but some of us have to go to summer school.
16
George Orwell
George Orwell
Liberal: a power worshipper without power.
9
Gore Vidal
Gore Vidal
Every time a friend succeeds, I die a little.
14
Oscar Wilde
Oscar Wilde
The only possible form of exercise is to talk, not to walk.
8
H. L. Mencken
H. L. Mencken
Imagine the Creator as a low comedian, and at once the world becomes explicable."
12
Heinrich Heine
Heinrich Heine
The music at a wedding procession always reminds me of the music of soldiers going into battle.
17
H. L. Mencken
H. L. Mencken
Husbands never become good; they merely become proficient
11
Joseph Addison
Joseph Addison
Laughter, while it lasts, slackens and unbraces the mind, weakens the faculties, and causes a kind of remissness and dissolution in all the powers of the soul.
10
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Oh God, how do the world and heavens confine themselves, when our hearts tremble in their own barriers!
16
Ronald Reagan
Ronald Reagan

America has begun a spiritual reawakening. Faith and hope are being restored. Americans are turning back to God. Church attendance is up. Audiences for religious books and broadcasts are growing. And I do believe that he has begun to heal our blessed land.

to the National Association of Evangelicals, Columbus, Ohio

8
H. L. Mencken
H. L. Mencken
Wife: a former sweetheart
12
H. L. Mencken
H. L. Mencken
Democracy: The worship of jackals by jackasses
13
Benjamin Disraeli
Benjamin Disraeli

To be conscious that you are ignorant is a great step to knowledge.

Sybil, 1845

9
Samuel Johnson
Samuel Johnson
Grief is a species of idleness.
11
Woody Allen
Woody Allen

My Lord, my Lord! What hast Thou done, lately?

""Without Feathers

13
Fran Lebowitz
Fran Lebowitz
I do not believe in God. I believe in cashmere.
13
Woody Allen
Woody Allen

Whosover loveth wisdom is righteous, but he that keepeth company with fowl is weird.

""Without Feathers

13
Woody Allen
Woody Allen

The wicked at heart probably know something.

""Without Feathers

16
Woody Allen
Woody Allen

Whosoever shall not fall by the sword or by famine, shall fall by pestilence, so why bother shaving?

""Without Feathers

13
Mark Twain
Mark Twain
It has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain when awake.
11
H. L. Mencken
H. L. Mencken
Wife: one who is sorry she did it, but would undoubtedly do it again."
12
Bertolt Brecht
Bertolt Brecht
Grub first, then ethics.
27
Lenny Bruce
Lenny Bruce
Communism is like one big phone company.
16
Edmund Burke
Edmund Burke
Men have no right to put the well-being of the present generation wholly out of the question. Perhaps the only moral trust with any certainty in our hands is the care of our own time.
19