Why should people go out and pay to see bad movies when they can stay at home and see bad television for nothing.

I don’t think anyone should write his autobiography until after he is dead.

The reason why so many people showed up at his [Louis B. Mayer’s] funeral was because they wanted to make sure he was dead.

Never let that son of a bitch in the studio again—until we need him.

We’re overpaying him, but he’s worth it.

If I could drop dead right now, I’d be the happiest man alive.

I don't want yes-men around me. I want everyone to tell the truth, even if it costs them their jobs.

My horse was in the lead, coming down the home stretch, but the caddie fell off.

When someone does something good, applaud! You will make two people happy.

Pictures are for entertainment, messages should be delivered by Western Union.