Alma

Cada momento que a um prazer não voto
Perco, nem curo se o prazer me é dado;
        Porque o sonho de um gozo
        No gozo não é sonho.

Como este infante que alourado dorme
        Fui. Hoje sei que há morte.
Lídia, há largas taças por encher
        Nosso amor que nos tarda.
        Qualquer que seja o amor ou as taças, breve
          Ajamos. Teme e desfruta.

Vai longe, na serra alta,
A nuvem que nela toca...
Dá-me aquilo que me falta —
Os beijos da tua boca.

II.

When thou seeëst me spend hours
Holding in a feverish glance
Thy mouth or teeth, or thy hand,
And notest how my soul devours
With a sleepness like to trance
The commonest things that stand

And askest what in them I see
That into each my spirit delves
As if each had a mystery,
Thou err'st in thy conjecturings,
For what ever obsesses me
Is not things in their weary selves
But the being there of things.

Life tastes to me like golden tobacco.
I have never done anything but smoke life.

After all of what use was it to me to have
Gone to the East and seen India and China?
The earth is similar and little
And there is only one way of living.

I pretended to study engineering.
I lived in Scotland. I visited Ireland.
My heart is a poor grandmother who goes about
Begging at the doors of Joy.

I am unfortunate by primogeniture.
The gipsies stole my luck.
Perhaps I shall not even find near death
A place to shelter me from my cold.

And I was a child like other people.
I was born in a Portuguese province,
And have met English people
Who say I speak English perfectly.

Quando te apertei a mão
Ao modo de assim-assim,
Senti o meu coração
A perguntar-me por mim.

Cantos, risos e flores alumiem
        Nosso mortal destino,
Para o ermo ocultar fundo, nocturno
        De nosso pensamento,
Curvado, já em vida, sob a ideia
        Do plutónico gozo,
Cônscio já da lívida esperança
        Do caos redivivo.

Grinalda ou coroa
É só peso posto
Na fronte antes limpa.

Grinalda de rosas,
Coroa de louros,
A fronte transtornam.

Que o vento nos possa
Mexer nos cabelos,
Refrescar a fronte!

Que a fronte despida
Possa reclinar-se,
Serena, onde durma.

Cloé! Não conheço
Melhor alegria
Que esta fronte lisa.

Baila o trigo quando há vento
Baila porque o vento o toca
Também baila o pensamento
Quando o coração provoca.

Cada um é um mundo; e como em cada fonte
Uma deidade vela, em cada homem
        Porque não há de haver
        Um deus só de ele homem?

Na encoberta sucessão das cousas,
Só o sábio sente, que não foi mais nada
        Que a vida que deixou.

Nada fica de nada. Nada somos.
Um pouco ao sol e ao ar nos atrasamos
Da irrespirável treva que nos pese
        Da húmida terra imposta,
Cadáveres adiados que procriam.

Leis feitas, estátuas vistas, odes findas —
Tudo tem cova sua. Se nós, carnes
A que um íntimo sol dá sangue, temos
        Poente, porque não elas?
Somos contos contando contos, nada.

Alone, on the deserted quay, this summer morning,
I look towards the bar, I look towards the Indefinite,
I look and find pleasure in seeing,
Little, black and clear, a steamer coming in.
It is very far yet, distinct and classic after its own fashion.
It leaves on the distant air behind it the vain curls of its smoke.
It is coming in, and morn comes in with it, and on the river
Here, there, naval life awakes,
Sails arise, tugs advance,
Small boats jut out from behind the ships in the port.
There is a vague breeze.
But my soul is with the things that I see least,
With the in-coming steamer,
Because it is with Distance, with Morn,
With the naval meaning of this Hour,
With the painful softness that rises in me like a qualm,
Like a beginning of sea-sickness, but in my soul.

I look from afar at the steamer, with a great independence of mind
And a whell begins to spin in me, very slowly.

The steamers that enter the bar in the morning,
Bring to my eyes with their coming
The glad and sad mystery of all who arrive and depart.
They bring memories of distant quays, and of other moments
Of another kind of the same mankind in other ports.
Every (...), every departure of a ship,
Is — I feel it in me like my blood —
Unconsciously symbolic, terribly
Threatening metaphysical meanings
That startle in me the being I once …

Ah, every quay is a regret made of stone!
And when the ship leaves the quay
And we note suddenly that a space is widening
Between the quay and the ship,
There comes to me, I know not why, a recent anguish,
A mist of feelings of sadness
That shines in the sun of my mosy anguishes
Like the first window the morning strikes on,
And clings round me like some one else's remembrance
Which is somehow mysteriously mine.

Ah, who knows, who knows,
If I did not leave long ago, before Myself,
A quay; if I did not depart, a ship in
The oblique sun of morning,
From another kind of port?
Who knows if I did not leave, before the hour
Of the exterior world as I see it
Dawned for me,
A large quay full of few people,
Of a great half-awakened city,
Of a great city commercial, overgrown, apopletical,
As much as that can be outside Time and Space?

Ay, from a quay, from a quay somehow material,
Real, visible as a quay, really a quay,
The Absolute Quay on whose type, unconsciously imitated,
Insensibly evoked,

We men have built
Our quays in our harbours,
Our quays, of actual stone overlooking true water,
Which, once built, suddenly show themselves to be
Real-Things, Things-Spirits, Entities in Stone-Souls,
At certain moments of ours of root-sentiments
When it seems that a door is opened in the outer world
And, without anything changing
Everything reveals itself to be different.

Ah, the Great Quay whence we embarked in Ship-Nations!
The Great Earlier Quay, eternal and divine!
Of what port? Over what waters? And why do I think of this?
A Great Quay like all other quays, but the Only One.
Full, as they are, of murmurous silences in the fore-dawns
And budding with the dawns in a noise of cranes
And arrivals of goods-trains
And under the black, occasional and light cloud
Of the smoke of the chimneys of the near factories
Which clouds its ground, black with small shining coal,
As if it were the shadow of a cloud passing over dark water.

Ah, what essentiality of mystery and arrested senses
In a divine revealing ecstasy
At the hours coloured like silences and anguishes
Is the bridge between any quay and THE QUAY!

Quay blackly reflected in the still waters,
Suddle [?] on board the ships,
Oh wandering and unstable soul of the people who live in ships,
Of the symbolic people who pass and for whom, nothing lasts
For when the vessel returns to the port,
There is always some change on board!

On continual flights, goings, drunknness of the Different!
Eternal soul of navigators and navigations!
Hulls slowly reflected in the waters
When the ship leaves the port!
To float as soul of life, to depart as voice,
To live the moment tremulously on eternal waters!
To wake to more direct days than the days of Europe,
To see mysterious ports over the loneliness of the sea,
To double distant capes and see sudden great landscapes
Of unnumbred astonished alones!

Ah, the distant beaches, the quays seen from afar,
And then the near beaches and the quays seen from near.
The mystery of each departure and of each arrival,
The painful instability and incomprehensibility
Of this impossible universe
At each naval hour ever more deeply felt right in my skin.
The absurd sob that our souls spill
Over the ever-different tracts of seas with islands afar,
Over the distant lines of the coasts we merely pass by,
Over the clear growing-clear of ports, with their houses and their people,
When the ship nears the land.

Ah, the freshness of morns when we arrive,
And the paleness of the morns when we depart,
When our entrails are gripped up
And a vague sensation resembling a fear
— The ancestral fear of going away and leaving,
The mysterious ancestral terror of Arrivals and New Things —
Grips up our skin and gives us qualms
And all our anguished body feels,
As if it were our soul,
An unexplained desire to feel this in some other way:
A regret at something,
A perturbation of tendernesses towards what vague fatherland?
What coast? what ship? what quay?
That thought sickens within us
And only a great vaccum remains in us,
A hollow satiety of naval minutes,
And a vague anxiety that would be weariness or pain
If it knew how to be that…

The summer morning is, nevertheless, slightly cool,
A slight night-dullness lies yet on the shaken air.
The wheel within me quickens its motion slightly.
And the steamer keeps on coming in, because surely it must coming in,
And not because I see it moving in its excessive distance.

In my imagination it is already near and visible
In all the extent of the lines of its portholes,
And everything trembles in me, all my flesh and all my skin,
On account of that creature that never arrives in any ship
And whom I have come to await to-day on this quay, through an oblique command.

Oh, solitary star, that with bright ray
Lookst from the bosom of envolving night,
Loveliest that none contests thy spaceful way
Now when with rivals is the sky not dight.

Vouch safe on me to keep thy tiny stare
Blinking at night as if in sleepy joy,
Or as the sleepy eyes of some young fair
Who chides their closing to her thought's warm toy.

That there are other stars I well do know
And others that may shine more bright and true;
And yet I wish them not, for one doth so
Outwit decision and attention sue.

And if from this thou can no lesson learn.
Much hast thou spurned that Goodness may not spurn

Toda a noite ouvi os cães
P’ra manhã ouvi os galos.
Tristeza — vem ter connosco.
Prazeres — é ir achá-los.

I.

Thy hand with its lovely fingers
        And the heavy rings on them!
How my soul over them lingers
Each finger with a heavy gem,
Each ring like a small diadem!

When thou and I are alone,
One only wish my soul stings —
Holding thy hand in my own,
All night, while the night-bird sings,
To take off and replace thy rings.

«Ribeirinho, ribeirinho,
Que vais a correr ao léu
Tu vais a correr sozinho,
Ribeirinho, como eu.»

Was it the lyrical nightingale
Forgot this music or told this tale?
A murmur of sorrow within me moves
Among the ghosts of unfound loves,
A breath of loss; like a lily faded,
By nought but the spell of that music aided.

I dream, and the sadness of being alive
Is like a mist round the things that strive
For an uttered word or a sense of being.
What sickness of having no seeing but seeing
Haunts with a murmur, thrills with a fear
The unnatural sense of my being here?

Nothing: the moonlight. Nothing: the breeze.
For sure there are, on remoter seas
Than mere containing of thoughts and dreams,
More earthless sorrows, less lucid gleams.
Care, and the fret of not having aught
If there, yet weigh not on life and thought.

Was it the music that came or ended?
Was it that it lost me or that it blended
With that of me that was born to hear it?
A voiceless sighing incarnate spirit,
A murmur of waters that somewhere shine,
A moonlight of dreaming it, a curious wine,

A splendour of opening vision to stars
No separateness from seeing them mars,
A clarion of moon-morn issuing from
The earliest place before love and home —
This, and the music I scarce can hear …
Lie still, my heart! be a dream, my fear!

Meu pobre Portugal,
Dóis-me no coração.
Teu mal é o meu mal
Por imaginação.

Tão fraco, tão doente,
E com a boa cor
Que a tísica põe quente
Na cara, o exterior.

Meu pobre e magro povo
A quem deram, às peças,
Um fato em estado novo
Para que o não pareças!

Tens a cara lavada,
Um fato de se ver
Mas não te deram nada,
Coitado, que comer.

E aí, nessa cadeira,
Jazes, apresentável.
(…)
O transeunte amável.

Many rivers run
        Down to many seas.
All my cares are one:
         On what river of these
        Could my heart have peace?

Two banks to each river.
        None where I may stray
Hearing the rushes shiver
        And seeing the river ever
        Pass, yet seem to stay.

Maybe there is another
         River, but far from Me.
There l may meet the Brother
        Of my eternity.
        In what God will this be?

Mother, my cheeks are wet.
        Let down my hair and kiss
My brow. I seem to forget
        Even if I think of this.

Lullaby to me, mother,
        Lullaby to me.
I loved and was not loved, mother.
        Kiss me and let me be.

Let me sleep as of old, thy hand
        On my brow, so calm and so deep,
That I feel't on my soul, my soul fanned
        By thy breath on the face of my sleep.

I am but a little ship, mother,
        Lost out in the sea.
Lullaby to me, mother,
        Lullaby to me.

Ah, tudo é símbolo e analogia!
O vento que passa, a noite que esfria
São outra cousa que a noite e o vento —
Sombras de vida e de pensamento.

Tudo que vemos é outra cousa.
A maré vasta, a maré ansiosa,
É o eco de outra maré que está
Onde é real o mundo que há.

Tudo que temos é esquecimento.
A noite fria, o passar do vento
São sombras de mãos cujos gestos são
A ilusão mãe desta ilusão.

Vida, morte,
Riso, pranto
É o manto
Que me cobre.
Natureza,
Amor, beleza,
Tudo quanto
A alma descobre.

O Mistério
Deste mundo
Teu profundo
Olhar leu;
D'além dele —
Cerra a alma
De pavor! —
Venho eu.
Nada, nada
Já acalma
Tua dor.
Tu bem sabes
Ser minha voz
Mais atroz
De mudo horror
No que não diz,
E só tu sentes
E compreendes.
Cerra, infeliz
Cerra a (tua) alma
Ao meu pavor!

(Fausto, com os olhos fechados, encolhido na cadeira, treme como que dum grande frio.)

Whene'er thou dost undo
Thy dark, strange hair before the wind
And the wind takes it up and makes it woo
Tumult and violence in the way it sweeps
Along the air, mingling, unmingling, undefined
In the snake‑like madness it keeps.

Then I do know
That somewhere whence dreams come
And passions go,
Somewhere in that world contrary to this,
Yet landscaped, peopled as this is,
In a great southern sea
There is a storm and a hurled wreck
On rising rocks that cannot reck
For human misery.

The two things are but one.
Thy floating hair is that great ship undone
In a tossed, turbulent, dashed ocean.
Neither precedeth nor doth cause the other
Nor are the two as brother and brother,
But absolutely one, samely the same,
They have somehow an equal name
Where speech is of the essence of what is.

A real sight, like God's, should see the kiss
Of the wind through thy hair and the far storm
One thing, - ­yet two things because we see two
When we conceive them one, the double form
Coming to oneness in what we construe.

Therefore I grieve when thou letst thy hair take
The wind upon its long, thin, changing fingers,
For that sight of me that translates that to
The sterner meaning in what world I know
Only through what in me is not here awake, -
That sight of that mad wreck visibly lingers
And does in my imagination ache.

Alas! all things are linked, and we know not
Half the contents of our each casual thought.
We never see save one little dreamed bit
Of each feeling we have; we pass through it
Like rapid travellers that scarce can see
What they pass by and what they see see erringly.

What is the meaning of my writing this?
Nothing, save that this is,
I know not why, something I know and must
Utter, the purpose of it being with
That secret Being that made my body of dust
Bear my soul's ignored presence, and that breath
Of life that survives my each moment's death.

Li vaga — inerte — e sonhadoramente li
Compreendendo mais do que havia
Em frase (...)

Fechei tremendo, os livros, e sentindo
Como que de detrás da consciência,
Negrume transcendendo o que de horror
(...)

Desde então o constante persistir
Do mistério em minha alma não me deixa
Quieto o espírito, por meditar
Que seja, meditando sempre.