Alcohol is a very necessary article... It makes life bearable to millions of people who could not endure their existence if they were quite sober. It enables Parliament to do things at eleven at night that no sane person would do at eleven in the morning.

I never resist temptation because I have found that things that are bad for me do not tempt me.

Audacious ribald: your laughter will finish in hideous boredom before morning.

Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that man can never learn anything from history.

Everything happens to everybody sooner or later if there is time enough.

You are going to let the fear of poverty govern your life and your reward will be that you will eat, but you will not live.

A fashion is nothing but an induced epidemic.

My method is to take the utmost trouble to find the right thing to say, and then to say it with the utmost levity.

When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth.

Nothing is worth doing unless the consequences may be serious.