Philosophy consists very largely of one philosopher arguing that all others are jackasses. He usually proves it, and I should add that he also usually proves that he is one himself. H. L.

The government consists of a gang of men exactly like you and me. They have, taking one with another, no special talent for the business of government; they have only a talent for getting and holding office. H. L.

After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known quotations. H. L.

God is the immemorial refuge of the incompetent, the helpless, the miserable. They find not only sanctuary in His arms, but also a kind of superiority, soothing to their macerated egos; He will set them above their betters. H. L.

All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it. H. L.

Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule - and both commonly succeed, and are right. H. L.

I believe that all government is evil, and that trying to improve it is largely a waste of time. H. L.

To die for an idea; it is unquestionably noble. But how much nobler it would be if men died for ideas that were true! H. L.

It is the dull man who is always sure, and the sure man who is always dull. H. L.

And what is a good citizen? Simply one who never says, does or thinks anything that is unusual. Schools are maintained in order to bring this uniformity up to the highest possible point. A school is a hopper into which children are heaved while they are still young and tender; therein they are pressed into certain standard shapes and covered from head to heels with official rubber-stamps. H. L.