No justice, no peace.

 

For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.

Nancy Reagan fell down and broke her hair.

If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.

My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.

Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president.

Only lie about the future.

I knew a man who gave up smoking, drinking, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.

I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.

Who could follow Carson? Well, believe me, somebody can - and will.