If we had less statesmanship we could get along with fewer battleships.

We owe a deep debt of gratitude to Adam, the first great benefactor of the human race: he brought death into the world.

I never could tell a lie that anybody would doubt, nor a truth that anybody would believe.

We all live in the protection of certain cowardices which we call our principles.

Statistics show that we lose more fools on this day than on all other days of the year put together. This proves, by the numbers left in stock, that one Fourth of July per year is now inadequate, the country has grown so.

There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist, except an old optimist.

If the desire to kill and the opportunity to kill always came together, who would escape hanging?

As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand. Josh Billings #1043 It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you: the one to slander you, and the other to bring the news to you.

There are times when one would like to end the whole human race, and finish the farce.

The holy passion of Friendship is so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.