I've never let my school interfere with my education.

The modern patriotism, the true patriotism, the only rational patriotism is loyalty to the Nation all the time, loyalty to the Government when it deserves it.

When in doubt tell the truth .

I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkey's.

The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are in the wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.

People who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either being made.

Life does not consist mainly, or even largely, of facts and happenings. It consists mainly of the storm of thought that is forever flowing through one's head.

I always take Scotch whiskey at night as a preventive of toothache. I have never had the toothache; and what is more, I never intend to have it .

Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.

While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats.