Quotes to inspire and reflect

Better three hours too soon than a minute too late.

All the world’s a stage , and all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts.

It’s hard to be funny when you have to be clean.

In matters of grave importance, style, not sincerity is the vital thing.

I’m astounded by people who want to “know” the universe when it’s hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.

Let Shakespeare do it his way. I’ll do it mine. We’ll see who comes out better.

Eternity is really long, especially near the end.

This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.

I’ve been looking for a girl like you—not you, but a girl like you.

I am the only person in the world I should like to know thoroughly.

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

I don’t like myself, I’m crazy about myself.

I think it would be a good idea.

What if nothing exists and we’re all in somebody’s dream? Or, what’s worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?

The madman thinks he is sane. I know I am mad.

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.

Can never rise and fight again.

More than any other time in history mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness; the other, to total extinction. Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly.

The only difference between lawyers and doctors is that lawyers simply rob you, whereas doctors both rob you and kill you, too.

If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door, greet him with, “Who could have done this? We have no enemies.”

I never work. Work does age you so.

We live in the age of the over-worked, and the under-educated; the age in which people are so industrious that they become absolutely stupid.

The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.

When you see what some girls marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living.

Whenever people talk to me about the weather, I always feel quite certain that they mean something else.

It is awfully hard work doing nothing.

Save a boyfriend for a rainy day. And another, in case it doesn’t rain.

I seriously doubt if we will ever have another war. This is probably the very last one.

Don’t talk to me about naval tradition. It’s nothing but rum, sodomy, and the lash.

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.

I like restraint, if it doesn’t go too far.

It is a sin to believe evil of others, but it is seldom a mistake.

The only difference between the saint and the sinner is that every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future.

Wickedness is a myth invented by good people to account for the curious attractiveness of others.

I’m no angel but I’ve spread my wings a bit.

I’ve been things and I’ve seen places.

“Goodness had nothing to do with it.”

The best way to behave is to misbehave.

To err is human—but it feels divine.

Forty-one, I think it is.

The censors wouldn’t even let me sit on a guy’s lap, and I’ve been on more laps than a table napkin.

Women have a hard enough time in this world; telling them the truth would be too cruel.

The truth is rarely pure and never simple. Modern life would be very tedious if it were either, and modern literature a complete impossibility.

A wise man does not waste so good a commodity as lying for naught.

If one tells the truth, one is sure, sooner or later, to be found out.

You want to be very careful about lying; otherwise you are nearly sure to get caught.

I offer my opponents a bargain: if they will stop telling falsehoods about us, I will stop telling the truth about them.