Quotes to inspire and reflect

The common people swarm like summer flies…

What a typical woman you are! You talk sentimentally, and you are thoroughly selfish the whole time.

You know, you haven’t stopped talking since I came here. You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle.

He thinks too much: such men are dangerous.

I have nothing but confidence in you. And very little of that.

My prayer to God is a very short one: “Oh God, please make my enemies ridiculous.” God has granted my wish.

Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.

Out, dunghill!

He hath eaten me out of house and home; he hath put all my substance into that fat belly of his.

People nowadays are so absolutely superficial that they don’t understand the philosophy of the superficial.

He has not so much brain as ear-wax.

Never speak disrespectfully of Society….Only people who can’t get into it do that.

You bead, you acorn.

Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.

I’d call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.

[She was] a perfect saint amongst women, but so dreadfully dowdy that she reminded one of a badly bound hymn-book.

You blocks, you stones, you worse than senseless things!

Marry me and I’ll never look at another horse.

Away, thou issue of a mangy dog!

[He] may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you: He really is an idiot.

Oh, what a pretty dress—and so cheap!

I love everything about you. Your lips, your eyes, your voice. The only thing I can’t stand is you.

Out of my sight! Thou dost infect my eyes.

It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.

She had much in common with Hitler, only no moustache.

I never saw anybody take so long to dress, and with such little result.

I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening—but this wasn’t it.

His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.

London is full of women who trust their husbands. One can always recognize them. They look so thoroughly unhappy.

A little House well fill’d, a little Field well till’d, and a little Wife well will’d, are great Riches.

One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife.

A husband is a man who two minutes after his head touches the pillow is snoring like an overloaded omnibus.

My most brilliant achievement was my ability to persuade my wife to marry me.

All husbands are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell them apart.

At first a woman doesn’t want anything but a husband, but just as soon as she gets one, she wants everything else in the world.

[The perfect husband] tells you when you’ve got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.

In my house I’m the boss. My wife is just the decision maker.

When a woman marries again, it is because she detested her first husband. When a man marries again, it is because he adored his first wife. Women try their luck; men risk theirs.

There is an art to “catching a husband”: “keeping” him is a profession.

My wife’s a hobby-horse…

The nation needs to return to the colonial trend of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split, or buckets of coal she could carry up from the cellar.

The only way a woman can ever reform a man is by boring him so completely that he loses all possible interest in life.

There is only one real tragedy in a woman’s life. The fact that her past is always her lover, and her future invariably her husband.

Ah, my husband is a sort of promissory note; I’m tired of meeting him.

The man who says his wife can’t take a joke, forgets that she took him.

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me “I’m not losing a son; I’m gaining a couch.”

You mean apart from my own?

It’s most dangerous nowadays for a husband to pay any attention to his wife in public. It always makes people think that he beats her when they’re alone.