Quotes to inspire and reflect

Though women are angels, yet wedlock’s the devil.

Bride, n. A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

An engagement should come on a young girl as a surprise, pleasant or unpleasant, as the case may be.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced “mirage.”

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.

It’s a funny thing that when a man hasn’t anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.

Dammit, sir, it is your duty to get married. You can’t be always living for pleasure.

Marriage to woman is just like jumping through a hole in the ice in winter. You do it once, and you remember it the rest of your life.

Marriage halves our griefs, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses.

When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, they are required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal, and exhausting condition continuously until death do them part.

Marriage, n. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.

I don’t believe in extramarital relationships. I think people should mate for life, like pigeons or Catholics.

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house.

He’s the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.

If we men married the women we deserved, we should have a very bad time of it.

A girl must marry for love, and keep on marrying until she finds it.

When you see a married couple coming down the street, the one who is two or three steps ahead is the one that’s mad.

The people who love only once in their lives are really the shallow people. What they call their loyalty, and their fidelity, I call either the lethargy of custom or their lack of imagination. Faithfulness is to the emotional life what consistency is to the life of the intellect—simply a confession of failure.

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

The fickleness of the women I love is only equaled by the infernal constancy of the women who love me.

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me.

Getting divorced just because you don’t love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.

‘Tis brief, my lord…as woman’s love.

I am sick of women who love one. Women who hate one are much more interesting.

No woman is worth more than a fiver unless you’re in love with her. Then she is worth all she costs you.

In love as in sport, the amateur status must be strictly maintained.

And I am Marie of Roumania.

My wife and I thought we were in love—but it turned out to be benign.

Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion.

Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else.

There is always something ridiculous about the passions of people whom one has ceased to love.

There’s only one kind of love that lasts—unrequited love. It stays with you forever.

Those who are faithful know only the trivial side of love; it is the faithless who know love’s tragedies.

But love is not fashionable any more, the poets have killed it. They wrote so much about it that nobody believed them.

Every love’s the love before in a duller dress.

I never loved another person the way I loved myself.

I’ve been in love with the same woman for 41 years. If my wife ever finds out, she’ll kill me!

I’m leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it’s not raining.

Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight.

I don’t know what London’s coming to—the higher the buildings the lower the morals.

Can’t make out how you stand London Society. The thing has gone to the dogs, a lot of damned nobodies talking about nothing.

[London:] A place you go to get bronchitis.

A man who can dominate a London dinner-table can dominate the world.

The truth is, that in London it is always a sickly season. Nobody is healthy in London—nobody can be.

Oh, I love London Society!…It is entirely composed now of beautiful idiots and brilliant lunatics. Just what Society should be.

Were it offered to my choice, I should have no objection to a repetition of the same life from its beginning, only asking the advantages authors have in a second edition to correct some faults in the first.

I am always astonishing myself. It is the only thing that makes life worth living.