Quotes to inspire and reflect

Thou crusty botch of nature…

No woman, plain or pretty, has any common sense at all, sir. Common sense is the privilege of our sex.

Let’s meet as little as we can.

I think thou art an ass.

Gwendolen: I am glad to say that I have never seen a spade. It is obvious that our social spheres have been widely different.

He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others.

Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, “Be fruitful and multiply.” But not in those exact words.

The tartness of his face sours ripe grapes…

Here he comes, swelling like a turkey-cock.

He was so crooked that when he died they had to screw him into the ground.

The plague of Greece upon thee, thou mongrel beef-witted lord!

…her beauty and her brain go not together.

He was gotten in drink.

I treasure every moment that I do not see her.

[She] can talk brilliantly upon any subject, provided that she knows nothing about it.

…thou lump of foul deformity…

What a typical woman you are! You talk sentimentally, and you are thoroughly selfish the whole time.

The common people swarm like summer flies…

He thinks too much: such men are dangerous.

You know, you haven’t stopped talking since I came here. You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle.

My prayer to God is a very short one: “Oh God, please make my enemies ridiculous.” God has granted my wish.

I have nothing but confidence in you. And very little of that.

Out, dunghill!

Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.

People nowadays are so absolutely superficial that they don’t understand the philosophy of the superficial.

He hath eaten me out of house and home; he hath put all my substance into that fat belly of his.

He has not so much brain as ear-wax.

Never speak disrespectfully of Society….Only people who can’t get into it do that.

Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.

You bead, you acorn.

[She was] a perfect saint amongst women, but so dreadfully dowdy that she reminded one of a badly bound hymn-book.

I’d call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.

Marry me and I’ll never look at another horse.

You blocks, you stones, you worse than senseless things!

Away, thou issue of a mangy dog!

[He] may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you: He really is an idiot.

I love everything about you. Your lips, your eyes, your voice. The only thing I can’t stand is you.

Oh, what a pretty dress—and so cheap!

It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.

Out of my sight! Thou dost infect my eyes.

I never saw anybody take so long to dress, and with such little result.

She had much in common with Hitler, only no moustache.

I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening—but this wasn’t it.

His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.

A little House well fill’d, a little Field well till’d, and a little Wife well will’d, are great Riches.

London is full of women who trust their husbands. One can always recognize them. They look so thoroughly unhappy.

A husband is a man who two minutes after his head touches the pillow is snoring like an overloaded omnibus.

One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife.