Quotes
Quotes to inspire and reflect
A horse that can count to ten is a remarkable horse—not a remarkable mathematician.
17
Some problems are so complex that you have to be highly intelligent and well informed just to be undecided about them.
17
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
7
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
6
What’s on your mind if you will forgive the overstatement.
12
Dear Randolph, utterly unspoiled by failure.
14
The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.
8
I don't know anything about this man. Anyhow, I only know two things about him. One is, he has never been in jail, and the other is, I don't know why.
10
If men's minds were like dominoes, surely his would be the double blank.
13
From the moment I picked your book up until I put it down I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.
9
I could dance with you until the cows come home... on second thoughts, I'll dance with the cows and you go home.
9
Am reserving two tickets for you for my premiere. Come and bring a friend - if you have one.
8
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
6
A modest little person, with much to be modest about.
8
I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed.
3
What we learn from history is that people don't learn from history.
16
I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes–and six months later you have to start all over again.
13
The aim of a joke is not to degrade the human being, but to remind him that he is already degraded.
6
Controversy equalizes fools and wise men ... and the fools know it.
8
It’s true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance?
6
Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
19
If I could drop dead right now, I’d be the happiest man alive.
8
Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.
9
Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.
9
The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.
6
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
7
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
17
Between friends, differences in taste or opinion are irritating in direct proportion to their triviality.
14
I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.
12
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
11
Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what’s for lunch.
11
She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman.
6
Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.
9
You can never be overdressed or overeducated.
8
My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
21
A lot of gay men stay in the closet because they are interested in fashion.
18
Middle Age: When you begin to exchange your emotions for symptoms
14
Nature gives us twelve years to develop a love for our children before turning them into teenagers
17
Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.
11
Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge.
13
His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.
9
Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school.
13
I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30.
8
But there are advantages to being elected President. The day after I was elected, I had my high school grades classified Top Secret.
8
The ideas of debtor and creditor as to what constitutes a good time never coincide.
16
It is said that the world is in a state of bankruptcy, that the world owes the world more than the world can pay.
9
Creditors have better memories than debtors.
8
Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
23