Money and Wealth

Mankind’s greatest error, the biggest deception of the past thousand years is this: to confuse poverty with stupidity.

Pat [his wife] doesn’t have a mink coat. But she does have a respectable Republican cloth coat.

Hollywood’s a place where they’ll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss, and fifty cents for your soul. I know, because I turned down the first offer often enough and held out for the fifty cents.

Unearned increment of value.

[ Rufus T. Firefly, played by Groucho Marx, speaking :] Will you marry me? Did he leave you any money? Answer the second question first.

[ Groucho Marx speaking after a woman says, “I don’t like this innuendo” :] That’s what I always say. Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.

[ Hammer, played by Groucho Marx, speaking :] Three years ago I came to Florida without a nickel in my pocket. And now I’ve got a nickel in my pocket.

Marcela loved me during fifteen months and three thousand dollars; nothing more.

Wealth is the ability to fully experience life.

I want a man whose kind and understanding. Is that too much to ask of a millionaire?

War seldom enters but where wealth allures.

History shows that when the taxes of a nation approach about 20% of the people's income, there begins to be a lack of respect for government. . . . When it reaches 25%, there comes an increase in lawlessness.

The state is that great fiction by which everyone tries to live at the expense of everyone else.

The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people's money.

The highest use of capital is not to make more money, but to make money do more for the betterment of life.

I have no money, no resources, no hopes. I am the happiest man alive.

Run for your life from any man who tells you that money is evil. That sentence is the leper’s bell of an approaching looter.

Rule No.1: Never lose money. Rule No.2: Never forget rule No.1.

If you want to see what God thinks of money, just look at all the people He gave it to.

Lend money to an enemy, and thou will gain him, to a friend and thou will lose him.

Money is not required to buy one necessity of the soul.

Government always finds a need for whatever money it gets.

Why is it inflationary if the people keep their own money, and spend it the way they want to, [but] not inflationary if the government takes it and spends it the way it wants to?

While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.