Humor e Ironia

A fanatic is someone who can’t change his mind and won’t change the subject.

Bores bore each other, too, but it never seems to teach them anything.

Everybody has the right to express what he thinks. That, of course, lets the crackpots in. But if you cannot tell a crackpot when you see one, then you ought to be taken in.

I’m not denyin’ the women are foolish: God Almighty made ’em to match the men.

You will do foolish things, but do them with enthusiasm.

Only a fool argues with a skunk, a mule or the cook.

If you’re going to do something tonight that you’ll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.

There is more simplicity in the man who eats caviar on impulse than in the man who eats Grape Nuts on principle.

I know not how I may seem to others, but to myself I am but a small child wandering upon the vast shores of knowledge, every now and then finding a small bright pebble to content myself with.

I have a theory that you can make any sentence seem profound by writing the name of a dead philosopher at the end of it.

I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing, and that is that I know nothing.

I am not given to finding fault, for there are innumerable fools.

Even the gods love jokes.

An empty vessel makes the loudest sound, so they that have the least wit are the greatest babblers.

Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman’s power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.

Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren’t.

He is one of those orators of whom it was well said, ‘Before they get up, they do not know what they are going to say; when they are speaking, they do not know what they are saying; and when they sit down they do not know what they have said.’

The temptation shared by all forms of intelligence: cynicism.

Cynic, n . A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.

A businessman is a hybrid of a dancer and a calculator.

In the business world, the rearview mirror is always clearer than the windshield.

A healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people’s patience.

I am one of those unhappy persons who inspire bores to the highest flights of their art.

I am never bored anywhere; being bored is an insult to oneself.