Humor e Ironia

Nobody ever died of laughter.

Women are made to be loved, not understood.

Writing is the only profession where no one considers you ridiculous if you earn no money.

If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner.

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he’s buying.

If children grew up according to early indications, we should have nothing but geniuses.

Children are innocent and love justice, while most adults are wicked and prefer mercy.

He that has no fools, knaves nor beggars in his family was begot by a flash of lightning.

Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning handsprings or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.

We are all worms, but I do believe I am a glowworm.

If a government commission had worked on the horse, you would have had the first horse that could operate its knee joint in both directions. The only trouble is it couldn’t have stood up.

Democracy means that if the doorbell rings in the early hours, it is likely to be the milkman.

The saving grace of America lies in the fact that the overwhelming majority of Americans are possessed of two great qualities—a sense of humor and a sense of proportion.

Door: What a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.

Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.

Wit ought to be a glorious treat, like caviar. Never spread it about like marmalade.

Among those whom I like, I can find no common denominator; but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh.

Humor is laughing at what you haven’t got when you ought to have it.

Like a welcome summer rain, humor may suddenly cleanse and cool the earth, the air and you.

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.

Let us read and let us dance—two amusements that will never do any harm to the world.

The only cure for vanity is laughter. And the only fault that’s laughable is vanity.

People who insist on telling their dreams are among the terrors of the breakfast table.

A bore is a fellow talker who can change the subject to his topic of conversation faster than you can change it back to yours.