Humor e Ironia

The only difference between reality and fiction is that fiction needs to be credible.

The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.

It's easy to endure adversity -- if it happens to someone else.

Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the work.

Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.

If all the fools in this world should die, lordly God how lonely I should be.

It is a mistake that there is no bath that will cure people's manners, but drowning would help.

You can tell German wine from vinegar by the label.

There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact .

The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.

I could never learn to like her, except on a raft at sea with no other provisions in sight.

Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.

I always take Scotch whiskey at night as a preventive of toothache. I have never had the toothache; and what is more, I never intend to have it .

While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats.

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.

The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it.

Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial 'we.'

Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

It is better to give than receive- especially advice.

You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

I am a great and sublime fool. But then I am God's fool, and all His works must be contemplated with respect.