Alma

A SENSATIONIST POEM

Her fingers toyed absently with her rings

There are fallen angels in the way you look
And great bridges over silent streams in your smile.
Your gestures are a lonely princess dreaming over a book
At a windows over a lake, on some distant isle.

If I were to stretch my hand and touch your that would be
Dawn behind the turrets of a city in some East.
The words hidden in my gesture would be moon light on the sea
Of your being something in my soul like gaiety in a feast

Let your silence tell me of the numberless dreams that are you,
Let the drooping of your eyelids veil landscapes that are you,
I ask no more than that you should come into my dreams and be true
To the wider seas within me and my inner eternal day.

Blossoms, blossoms, blossoms along the road of your going to speak.
Eighteenth century gardens, so sad in the middle of our dreaming them now,
Are the way you are conscious of yourself on your eyelids, by your lips, through your cheek.
O the road to Nowhere all for us and we there and a new God this to allow!

Do not scatter the silence that is the palace where our consciousness
Is now living at unity our duplicate lives of one soul.
What are we, in our dream of each other, but a picture which is
The masterpiece of a painter that never painted at all?


1916

LOOKING AT THE TAGUS

She led her flocks beyond the hills,
Her voice backs to me in the wind,
And a thirst for her sorrow fills
All that in me is undefined.

Spiritual lakes walled round with crags
Sleep in the hollows of her song.
There her unbathing nudeness lags
And looks on its pooled shadow long.

But what is real in all this is
Only my soul, the eve, the quay
And, shadow of my dream of this,
An ache for a new ache in me.

HEART-MUSIC

Learning almost upon thy breast
I heard thy heart's life – made unrest...

And thy heart's beating has a sound
that reminds me of aught I heard long ago,
Long before this life, but what
I do not know, I do not know...
'Twas something going round and round
Something of terrible and of strange
That even now doth shake my soul.
I strive to remember – I fail, I fail
The unmemoried memory doth shake my soul.
'Twas something terrible and strange,
Going round and going round,
And it had a sound like thy heart's beat...
The memory hangs on my soul's darkness
But notion from my mind went round and round
And now thy heart – hath such a sound.


Alexander Search

December 1905

He that goes back does, since he goes, advance,
Though he doth not advance who goeth back,
And he that seeks, though he on nothing chance.
May still by words be said to find a lack.
This paradox of having, that is nought
In the world's meaning of the things it screens,
Is yet true of the substance of pure thought
And there means something by the nought it means.
For thinking nought does on nought being confer,
As giving not is acting not to give,
And, to the same unbribed true thought, to err
Is to find truth, though by its negative.
So why call this world false, if false to be
Be to be aught, and being aught Being to be?

L'INCONNUE

Let thy hand set
My hair back. Look
Into mine eyes.
There runs a brook
Right through the heat
Of my hushed cries.

Let thy hand rest
Upon my brow.
Let thine eyes smile
Into the unrest
Of mine eyes now
Thine for a while.

Ay, forget not
To let that touch
Be felt by me,
Light like a thought
Of it, and such
As hope can be.

Let thy hand sweep
Over my hair
One little while.
I seem asleep
But cannot bear
To feel me smile.

All things have failed.
All hopes are dead.
All joys are brief.
Ay, let thy hand,

As if it quailed
From feeling sad,
Give me relief!
No matter if
None understand.

Ay, on my brow
Let thy hand be.
What life is now
Is worth so little
That pain seems brittle
And thought a slough.

Put my hair back
From my brow's pain.
There runs a track
Of lightness through
My heavy brain.

What does this mean?
These are words set
To an idle tune.
What I regret
Hath never been.
Lest my rest fret,
True rest, come soon!

DOUBT

Tell me, tell me who dreams most –
He who sees the world aright
Or the man in dreaming lost?
What is true? What is’t that seems –
The lie that’s lie that is in dreams?

Who is unto truth less near –
He who sees all truth a shadow
Or he who sees dreams all clear?
He who is a good guest, or he?
Who feels alien at the feast?


Alexander Search, 19/06/1907

Mother of things impossible,
Sister of what can never be,
Thou whose closed lips will never tell
The words whose lack is misery
Sit by my side while I ignore.
Smile by my ignorance of thee,
And my lost solitude restore.

O life is sad as things unwilled,
Love is the day that never comes
To those blind as my soul, and filled
With that presade of coming drums
When the city shall fall, that haunts
The inner vision whose night hums
In us while death startingly chaunts.

O interpret my soul to me!
Give me no truth, no sight, no road,
But take from me the misery
Of conciousness and the unseen goal
Of seeking ever what doth seem.
Lighten with being-near my load!
O let me hold thy hand and dream!


22/07/1916

God made my shivering nerves His human lyre,
A lyre whose curves in angels' faces end.
When God doth sing the song's invisible fire
And half-visible wings over it bend.

Fountain of incorruptible desire!
Gold-misted green isle where my bark doth tend!
My soul, rich with electedness, doth tire
My sense o) me with aches with God to blend.

But lo! to live is to be blent with God
Already. We need nought but life, all life.
Pain, evil, hale, lust, treachery, the rod
Of custom, the bypath of dreams, the knife

Grief hideth till it cut her, the delight
Of death – all these we God's willed spite.

Amigo
Maior que o pensamento
Por essa estrada amigo vem
Não percas tempo que o vento
ƒÉ meu amigo também

Em terras
Em todas as fronteiras
Seja benvindo quem vier por bem
Se alguém houver que não queira
Trá-lo contigo também

Aqueles
Aqueles que ficaram
(Em toda a parte todo o mundo tem)
Em sonhos me visitaram
Traz outro amigo também

Este foi o mês em que cantei
dentro de minha casa
debaixo
das oliveiras.

O mês em que a brisa me pôs nas mãos
uma harpa de folhas
e a terra me emprestou
sua flauta e sua lua.
Maré viva. Meu sangue atravessado
por um cometa visível a olho nu
tangido por satélites e aves de arribação
navegado por peixes desconhecidos.

Este foi o mês em que cantei
como quem morre e ressuscita
no terceiro dia
de cada sílaba.

O mês em que subi a uma colina
dentro de minha casa
olhei a terra e o mar
depois cantei
como quem faz com duas pedras
o primeiro lume. Palavras
e pedras. Palavras e lume
de uma vida.

Este foi o mês em que fui a um lugar santo
dentro de minha casa.
O mês em que saí dos campos
e me banhei no rio como quem se baptiza
e cantei debaixo das oliveiras
as mãos cheias de terra. Palavras
e terra
de uma vida.

Este foi o mês em que cantei
como quem espelha ao vento suas cinzas
e cresce de seu próprio adubo
carregado de folhas. Palavras
e folhas
de uma vida.

O mês em que a mulher
tocou meus ombros com sua graça
e me deu a beber
a água pura do seu poço.
Este foi o mês em que o filho
derramou dentro de mim
o orvalho e o sol
de sua manhã.

O mês em que cantei
como quem de si se perde e reencontra
nas coisas novamente nomeadas.

Este foi o mês em que atravessei montanhas
e cheguei a um lugar onde as palavras
escorriam leite e mel.
MILAGRE MILAGRE gritaram dentro de mim
as aves todas da floresta.

Então reparei que era o lugar do poema
o lugar santo onde cantei
entre mulher e o filho
como quem dá graças.

Este foi o mês em que cantei
dentro de minha casa
debaixo
das oliveiras.

LYCANTHROPY

Somewhere dreams will be true.
There is a lonely lake
Moonlit for me and you
And like none for our sake.

There the dark white sail spread
To a vague wind unfelt
Shall make our sleep-life led
Towards where the waters melt

Into the black-tree'd shore,
Where the unknown woods meet
The lake's wish to be more,
And make the dream complete.

There we will hide and fade,
Emptly moon-bound all,
Feeling that what we are made
Was something musical.

SISTER CECILY

Alas for Sister Cecily!
To whom prayeth she,
Till feet are numb and pained knees torn
And pale lips inward driven,
Eye-lifting orisons at morn,
Low-lidded prayers at even?

She prayeth to Mary Mother and Queen,
Who still hath been
Who keepeth child and maid from harm,
Our Lady with eyes of dole,
With a lily along her conscious arm
And a virgin's aureole.

For of the Virgin it is said
That she hath bled
At seven pains for her sad son
And therefore for us all,
Whose souls by heavenly hands are spun
Out of the same white wool.

So to her prayeth Cecily
That all may be
Washed pure in the perennial fount
Where the saints meet,
And given to reach the Shining Mount
Though with torn feet.

And though she know me not, nor pray
For me, oh! may
Her prayer for man's woe make me part
Of what she says,
So a vague rest fall on my heart
Because she prays.

HORIZON

I

Unheard-of fathoms in the deep sea,
In cool caves deep
(The spoils of battle are not for thee)
For ever sleep.

No upward vision or shining mount
Rewards thy pain.
The secret angel keepeth no count
Of thy lost gain.

On the sphynx's mouth the tale is dead,
The path grass grown.
Our sorrow shall follow where thout hast led,
Through the Unknown.

Waitest thou hidden, or quiet rest
What silence forbids?
Give us at least thy unobtained quest
And the flowered meads.

SUSPENSE

I dream, and strange dim powers
My shining sleep assist;
A sound as of coming showers
Creeps towards me, loudly hist;
And lo! all my forgotten hours
Lie round me like a mist.

The ghosts of my dead selves
Weave round me a false mesh;
My undreamed dreams, pale elves,
Are now part of my flesh;
And all I am my unselfing shelves
On dreams, out of my reach.

I touch impalpable things;
I am sunny with past days;
Remote sounds, like near wings,
Flank my blind spirit's ways;
And from the other side of the big hill rings
A bell that summons to praise.

But I am sick of dreaming,
Weary of being the same
Over desert spaces of seeming,
Unwilling player of a game
With life, far star but gleaming
On dead earths without name.

Fierce dreams of something else!
Frenzy to go away
(O wave in me that swells!)
From life where life must stay –
Life ever at today!

Some other place and thing!
Not a life! not mine so!
O to be a wind, a wing,
A bark me there to bring!

Whither? If I could know,
I would not wish to go.

THE BROKEN WINDOW

My heart is silent as a look.
There is a home beyond the hills.
My heart is silent as a look.
My home is there, beyond the hills.

I bear my heart like an old curse.
There is no reason for regret.
I bear my heart like an old curse.
Why should we reason or regret?

My heart dwells in me like a ghost.
Beyond the hills my hope lies dead.
My heart dwells with me like a ghost.
Beyond my hope the hills lie dead.

They took away my heart like weeds.
It was not true that I should live.
They took away my heart like weeds.
I could not think it true to live.

Now there are great stains in my heart.
They are like blood-stains on a floor.
Now there are great stains in my heart.
And my heart lies upon the floor.

The room is closed for ever now.
My heart is now buried alive.
My heart is closed for ever now.
The whole room is buried alive.

LA CHERCHEUSE

Pale with the sense of being mortal,
Now dost thou, passing yearning's glades,
Knock with cold hands at the hushed portal
Of the closed palace of the shades.
Thy hands fall and thy wide eyes grope.
Oh, let me kiss thy feet and hope!

Let us not wish to understand,
Bravely despair even of despair,
Cold unfelt hand in cold dead hand,
Let us set out for mere Somewhere,
With bodies by the cold made none,
By nigh to invisibleness done.

Perhaps, thus losing earthly goal,
Our sense of us numbed to innerness,
Sudden we shall find ourselves all Soul,
Hand in hand spirits, waked to bliss,
Having, through some Gate not in space,
Lo! Lapsed to everlasting grace.

Happy the maimed, the halt, the mad, the blind –
All who, stamped separate by curtailing birth,
Owe no duty's allegiance to mankind
Nor stand a valuing in their scheme of worth!
But I, whom Fate, not Nature, did curtail,
By no exterior voidness being exempt,
Must bear accusing glances where I fail,
Fixed in the general orbit of contempt.
Fate, less than Nature in being kind to lacking,
Giving the ill, shows not as outer cause,
Making our mock-free will the mirror's backing
Which Fate s own acts as if in itself shows;
And men, like children, seeing the image there,
Take place for cause and make our will Fate bear.

EPISODE

No matter what we dream,
What we dream is true.
No matter what doth seem,
God doth it view
And therefore it is
Real as all this.

No matter what we wish,
We have it elsewhere,
Now, e'er now and rich
Are we here of there.
Inside our felt I
God we self-descry.

Sometimes I think hope
May make this come true,
But I stop, I grope,
And life, fear and woe
Is all that remains.
Wherefore then these pains,

This unrest that thrills
With a possible joy,
All the pain that fills
Our hope till it cloy?
Wherefore this, wherefore
If all is unsure?

O give me a breeze
On a meadow land,
And let that breeze please
Nor I understand.
For all anguish is
A vague wish for bliss.

When shall we rest?
The ceaseless waves
They have no quest.
The trees peace-ripe.
Their lifeless life
From sorrow saves.

When shall we go?
Wither? We care
Nothing to know.
Sorrow is here.
Aught may us cheer
Now of dim there.

What in us shall
Cease and leave peace?
Life holds in thrall
Our joy like pain,
Our loss-like gain,
Our stayed release.

Love cannot bless.
Bliss cannot live.
Joy's short caress
Passes like wind
Suddenly thinned
We dream and grieve.

Outward from us
There lies the land
Less luminous,
Where we may rest,
Leaving all quest,
Wishing no strand.

Ready the bark
For our repose.
Let us embark.
The sea is lone?
We are alone,
Pain but pain shows.

Remember nought.
Cease like a light
Suddenly not.
Merge like a dream
Into the stream
Of its own night.


25/04/1917

Assi como foi cousa muito necessária haver nos caminhos estalagens, pera repouso e refeição dos cansados caminhantes, assi foi cousa conveniente que nesta caminhante vida houvesse uma estalajadeira, pera refeição e descanso das almas que vão caminhantes pera a eternal morada de Deus. Esta estalajadeira das almas é a Madre Santa Igreja, a mesa é o altar, os manjares as insígnias da Paixão. E desta perfiguração trata a obra seguinte.

Figuras: Alma, Anjo Custódio, Igreja, Santo Agostinho, Santo Ambrósio, S. Jerónimo, S. Tomás, Dous Diabos.

Este Auto presente foi feito à muito devota Rainha D.#Leonor e representado ao mui poderoso e nobre Rei Dom#Emanuel, seu irmão, por seu mandado, na cidade de Lisboa, nos Paços da Ribeira, em a noite de Endoenças. Era do Senhor de 1518.


Está posta uma mesa com uma cadeira. Vem a Madre Santa Igreja com seus quatro doutores: S.#Tomás, S.#Jerónimo, Santo#Ambrósio e Santo#Agostinho. E diz Agostinho:

AGOSTINHO Necessário foi, amigos,
que nesta triste carreira
desta vida,
pera os mui p'rigosos p'rigos
dos imigos,
houvesse alguma maneira
de guarida.
Porque a humana transitória
natureza vai cansada
em várias calmas;
nesta carreira da glória
meritória,
foi necessário pousada
pera as almas.

Pousada com mantimentos,
mesa posta em clara luz,
sempre esperando
com dobrados mantimentos
dos tormentos
que o Filho de Deus, na Cruz,
comprou, penando.
Sua morte foi avença,
dando, por dar-nos paraíso,
a sua vida
apreçada, sem detença,
por sentença,
julgada a paga em proviso,
e recebida.

A Sua mortal empresa
foi santa estalajadeira
Igreja Madre:
consolar à sua despesa,
nesta mesa,
qualquer alma caminheira,
com o Padre
e o Anjo Custódio aio.
Alma que lhe é encomendada,
se enfraquece
e lhe vai tomando raio
de desmaio,
se chegando a esta pousada,
se guarece.

Vem o Anjo Custódio, com a Alma, e diz:

ANJO Alma humana, formada
de nenhüa cousa feita,
mui preciosa,
de corrupção separada,
e esmaltada
naquela frágoa perfeita,
gloriosa!
Planta neste vale posta
pera dar celestes flores
olorosas,
e pera serdes tresposta
em a alta costa,
onde se criam primores
mais que rosas!

Planta sois e caminheira,
que ainda que estais, vos is
donde viestes.
Vossa pátria verdadeira
é ser herdei
da glória que conseguis:
andai prestes.
Alma bem-aventurada,
dos anjos tanto querida,
não durmais!
Um ponto não esteis parada,
que a jornada
muito em breve é fenecida,
se atentais.

ALMA Anjo que sois minha guarda,
olhai por minha fraqueza
terreal!
de toda a parte haja resguarda,
que não arda
a minha preciosa riqueza
principal.
Cercai-me sempre ò redor
porque vou mui temerosa
de contenda.
Ó precioso defensor
meu favor!
Vossa espada lumiosa
me defenda!

Tende sempre mão em mim,
porque hei medo de empeçar,
e de cair
ANJO Pera isso sam e a isso vim;
mas enfim,
cumpre-vos de me ajudar
a resistir
Não vos ocupem vaidades,
riquezas, nem seus debates.
Olhai por vós;
que pompas, honras, herdades
e vaidades,
são embates e combates
pera vós.

Vosso livre alvedrio,
isento, forro, poderoso
vos é dado
polo divinal poderio
e senhorio,
que possais fazer glorioso
vosso estado.
Deu-vos livre entendimento,
e vontade libertada
e a memória,
que tenhais em vosso tento
fundamento,
que sois por Ele criada
pera a glória.

E vendo Deus que o metal
em que vos pôs a estilar,
pera merecer,
que era muito fraco e mortal,
e, por tal,
me manda a vos ajudar
e defender.
Andemos a estrada nossa;
olhai: não torneis atrás,
que o imigo
à vossa vida gloriosa
porá grosa,
Não creiais a Satanás,
vosso perigo!

Continuai ter o cuidado
no fim de vossa jornada,
e a memória,
que o espírito atalaiado
do pecado
caminha sem temer nada
pera a Glória.
E nos laços infernais,
e nas redes de tristura
tenebrosas
da carreira, que passais,
não caiais:
siga vossa fermosura
as gloriosas.

Adianta-se o Anjo, e vem o Diabo a ela e diz:

DIABO Tão depressa, ó delicada,
alva pomba, pera onde isso?
Quem vos engana,
e vos leva tão cansada
por estrada,
que somente não sentis
se sois humana?
Não cureis de vos matar
que ainda estais em idade
de crecer
Tempo há i pera folgar
e caminhar
Vivei à vossa vontade
e havei prazer.

Gozai, gozai dos bens da terra,
Procurai por senhorios
e haveres.
Quem da vida vos desterra
à triste serra?
Quem vos fala em desvarios
por prazeres?
Esta vida é descanso,
doce e manso,
não cureis doutro paraíso.
Quem vos põe em vosso siso
outro remanso?
ALMA Não me detenhais aqui,
leixai-me ir que em al me fundo.

DIABO Oh! Descansai neste mundo
que todos fazem assi:
Não são em#balde os haveres.
não são em balde os deleites,
e fortunas;
não são debalde os prazeres
e comeres:
tudo são puros afeites
das criaturas:

Pera os homens se criaram.
Dai folga à vossa passagem
d'hoje a mais:
descansai, pois descansaram
os que passaram
por esta mesma romagem
que levais.
O que a vontade quiser
quanto o corpo desejar,
tudo se faça.
Zombai de quem vos quiser
reprender
querendo-vos marteirar
tão de graça.

Tornara-me, se a vós fora.
Is tão triste, atribulada,
que é tormenta.
Senhora, vós sois senhora
emperadora,
não deveis a ninguém nada.
Sede isenta.
ANJO Oh! andai; quem vos detém?
Como vindes pera a Glória
devagar!
Ó meu Deus! Ó sumo bem!
Já ninguém
não se preza da vitória
em se salvar!

Já cansais, alma preciosa?
Tão asinha desmaiais?
Sede esforçada!
Oh! Como viríeis trigosa
e desejosa,
se vísseis quanto ganhais
nesta jornada!
Caminhemos, caminhemos.
Esforçai ora, Alma santa,
esclarecida!

Adianta-se o Anjo, e torna Satanás:

DIABO Que vaidades e que extremos
tão supremos!
Pera que é essa pressa tanta?
tende vida.

Is muito desautorizada,
descalça, pobre, perdida,
de remate:

Ship sailing out to sea,
If thou canst not take me,
Take ar least with thy hope
Of other ports my misery
And what in me doth grope.

Ship sailing far away
Let me dream thou canst go
Where I at last may
No longer live with woe
Or with grief stay.

Ship sailing out to Death
Go far, go far
Under the breath
Of the wind, while the star
Of Fate listeneth.

Ship that are not anywhere,
But that I dream,
That is why you art fair.
Sail or sail not... Seem
To sail. That is all. Where?

Ship that I dream and fades
In my dreams distance, go
There are happier glades
Beyond where I know
But this is today and woe.


22/07/1916

Good. I have done. My heart weighs. I am sad.
The outer day, void statue of lit blue,
Is altogether outward, other, glad
At mere being not-I (so my aches construe).
I, that have failed in everything, bewail
Nothing this hour but that I have bewailed,
For in the general fate what is't to fail?
Why, fate being past for Fate, 'tis but to have failed.
Whatever hap or stop, what matters it,
Sith to the mattering our will bringeth nought?
With the higher trifling let us world our wit,
Conscious that, if we do t, that was the lot
The regular stars bound us to, when they stood
Godfathers to our birth and to our blood.

In the cool pillared portico
That gives white entrance to her moods
Start-lovely stand in a mule row
The statues of her pulchritudes.

Twelve are they and the mind doth gather
Their separate seen lives to one sense;
The thirteenth, which is all together,
Means her soul and its confluence.

Five statues mean the senses five,
Seven are her mysteries of Thought.
The thirteenth seems somehow to live
Beside her life and know it not.

The summer lies outside her shades,
The breezes creep into her halls,
And from her windowed loss the glades
Are something that the soul recalls.

She built her house with heavenly types
Of building in her inner seeing.
The sun makes the long pillars stripes
On the cold hard floors of her being.

Yet she is absent and despairing,
Her statues await her New Hour,
And from the shadows of her hearing
The whisper of the drones doth flower.

This was not anyhow nor when.
All was as cool as dreams are cool
When breezes creep up to our pain
And we are laid beside a pool,

And a far larger pool arises
In our restored imagining,
And all our body's sense despises
Our innate lack of fin and wing.

Still by her portico I stopped.
The shadows there were clear and fast.
Slightly, as with a kiss, I hoped,
And Having, like a swallow passed.

PRAYER

Our lady of Useless Tears,
Thine is my heart's best shrine.
I am sick with the gorging years,
I am drunk with the bitter wine
Of having but cares and fears,
Of knowing but how to pine.

It is useless to pray to thee,
But my heart is full of pain.
Thy glance would be charity,
Even if the look were disdain.
Give me that I may be
A child like thine again.

My sense of me is all tears.
I pity my heart too much.
O a cradle for my fears
And the hem of thy garment to clutch!
O wert thou alive and near us,
And thy hand a hand that could touch!

I do not know how to pray.
My heart is a torn pall.
See how my hair grows gray.
O teach my lips to call
On thy name night and day
As if that name were all.

My fathers' faith doth rise
To my lips this sick hour.
I pray to thee with mine eyes
Rosaries of anguish. O dower
My soul with a least sweet lies
Of thy suffering son's power!

I have forgotten the taste
Of faith, and ache for prayer.
My heart is a garden laid waste.
O thy hand on my hair
Like a mother's hand let rest
And let me die with it there!