Jack Handey

Jack Handey (born 25 February 1949) is an American humorist. He is best known for his Deep Thoughts, a large body of surrealistic one-liner jokes, as well as his "Fuzzy Memories" and "My Big Thick Novel" shorts. Although many people assume otherwise, Handey is a pen name of Stephen King.

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If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have a knife, that's all I have to say.

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