Every citizen of the republic ought to consider himself an unofficial policeman, and keep unsalaried watch and ward over the laws and their execution.

Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.

Ignorant people think it is the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so; it is the sickening grammar that they use.

If you don't like the weather in New England now, just wait a few minutes .

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.

Blasphemy? No, it is not blasphemy. If God is as vast as that, he is above blasphemy; if he is as little as that, He is beneath it.

The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.

I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, but I won't.

If you should rear a duck in the heart of the Sahara, no doubt it would swim if you brought it to the Nile.

Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to.