Love your enemy, it will scare the hell out of them.

Sacred cows make the best hamburger.

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.

Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.

Enthusiasm is caught, not taught .

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.

Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate.

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.