When the end of the world comes, I want to be in Kentucky, because everything there happens 20 years after it happens anywhere else.

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Make your vocation your vacation. That is the secret to success .

Most people can't bear to sit in church for an hour on Sundays. How are they supposed to live somewhere very similar to it for eternity?

The inability to forget is far more devastating than the inability to remember.

I cannot help but notice that there is no problem between us that cannot be solved by your departure.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

A little lie can travel half way 'round the world while Truth is still lacing up her boots .

A gentleman is someone who knows how to play the banjo and doesn't.

There is no security in life, only opportunity.