Humor e Ironia

Where people wish to attach, they should always be ignorant. To come with a well-informed mind, is to come with an inability of administering to the vanity of others, which a sensible person would always wish to avoid. A woman especially, if she have the misfortune of knowing any thing, should conceal it as well as she can.

‘Oh! it is only a novel! … only Cecilia, or Camilla, or Belinda:’ or, in short, only some work in which the most thorough knowledge of human nature, the happiest delineation of its varieties, the liveliest effusions of wit and humour are conveyed to the world in the best chosen language.

When I find myself in the company of scientists, I feel like a shabby curate who has strayed by mistake into a drawing room full of dukes.

A poet’s hope: to be,

The Emperor’s new clothes.

A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me and she said ‘no’.

Is sex dirty? Only if it’s done right.

Don’t knock masturbation. It’s sex with someone I love.

Committee—a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done

If we may believe our logicians, man is distinguished from all other creatures by the faculty of laughter.

A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes.

Sir Roger told them, with the air of a man who would not give his judgement rashly, that much might be said on both sides.

You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist.

It is unwise to be too sure of one’s own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err.

Sing, sing! What shall I sing? The cat’s run away with the pudding-bag string.

One misty, moisty morning, When cloudy was the weather, I chanced to meet an old man Clothed all in leather; He began to compliment, And I began to grin— “How do you do?” and “How do you do?” And “How do you do?” again!

Hark! Hark! The dogs do bark, The beggars are coming to town; Some in rags, some in tags, And some in velvet gowns.

There are many here among us Who feel that life is but a joke

But even the president of the United States Sometimes must have to stand naked.

A living doll, everywhere you look. It can sew, it can cook, It can talk, talk, talk…. My boy, it’s your last resort. Will you marry it, marry it, marry it.

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple With a red hat which doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me.

Death has got something to be said for it: There’s no need to get out of bed for it; Wherever you may be, They bring it to you, free.

I believe a little incompatibility is the spice of life, particularly if he has income and she is pattable.

The trouble with a kitten is THAT Eventually it becomes a CAT.