[ Response to being asked by a U.S. immigration officer whether he was a “practising homosexual” :] Practising? Certainly not. I’m perfect.

I became one of the stately homos of England. The Naked Civil Servant ch. 24 (1968)

As we all know from witnessing the consuming jealousy of husbands who are never faithful, people do not confine themselves to the emotions to which they are entitled.

Health consists of having the same diseases as one's neighbors.

Life is a game in which the rules are constantly changing nothing spoils a game more than those who take it seriously.

Nothing more rapidly inclines a person to go into a monastery than reading a book on etiquette.

Treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.

The continued propinquity of another human being cramps the style after a time unless that person is somebody you think you love. Then the burden becomes intolerable at once.

One should always be wary of anyone who promises that their love will last longer than a weekend.

The young always have the same problem - how to rebel and conform at the same time. They have now solved this by defying their parents and copying one another.