Poems List

A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.
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The pencil sharpener is about as far as I have ever got in operating a complicated piece of machinery with any success.
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Tell us your phobias, and we will tell you what you are afraid of.
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The only cure for a real hangover is death.
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I know I’m drinking myself to a slow death, but then I’m in no hurry.
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A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
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I wouldn't trust a bank that would lend money to such a poor risk as me.
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I do most of my work sitting down; that's where I shine.
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Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.
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STREETS FLOODED. PLEASE ADVISE. message sent on arriving in Venice

R. E. Drennan (ed.) Wits End (1973) ‘Robert Benchley’

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