You'll find as you go through life that great depth and smouldering sexuality don't always win, I'm sorry to say.

If you’re not failing every now and again, it’s a sign you’re not doing anything very innovative.

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work … I want to achieve it through not dying.

On bisexuality: It immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.

It’s not that I’m afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.

Is sex dirty? Only if it’s done right.

A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me and she said ‘no’.

Don’t knock masturbation. It’s sex with someone I love.