A Sunday school is a prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents. H. L.

A poet more than thirty years old is simply an overgrown child. H. L.

If I had my way, any man guilty of golf would be ineligible for any office of trust in the United States." H. L.

It is a sin to believe evil of others, but it is seldom a mistake.

Women have a hard enough time in this world; telling them the truth would be too cruel.

A professional politician is a professionally dishonorable man. In order to get anywhere near high office he has to make so many compromises and submit to so many humiliations that he becomes indistinguishable from a streetwalker.

A good politician…is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar or a virtuous harlot.

Alimony—the ransom that the happy pay to the devil.

The longest sentence you can form with two words is “I do.”

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.