College football would be more interesting if the faculty played instead of the students - there would be a great increase in broken arms, legs and necks." H. L.

New York: A third-rate Babylon. H. L.

The best years are the forties; after fifty a man begins to deteriorate, but in the forties he is at the maximum of his villainy." H. L.

Creator: a comedian whose audience is afraid to laugh. H. L.

Imagine the Creator as a low comedian, and at once the world becomes explicable." H. L.

Husbands never become good; they merely become proficient. H. L.

Wife: a former sweetheart. H. L.

Democracy: The worship of jackals by jackasses. H. L.

Wife: one who is sorry she did it, but would undoubtedly do it again." H. L.

The most common of all follies is to believe passionately in the palpably not true. It is the chief occupation of mankind. H. L.