Every man wants a woman to appeal to his better side, his nobler instincts, and his higher nature --- and another woman to help him forget them.

Marriage is a bargain, and somebody has to get the worst of the bargain.

To a woman the first kiss is just the end of the beginning but to a man it is the beginning of the end.

It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son, and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him.

When you see what some girls marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living.

A man’s desire for a son is usually nothing but the wish to duplicate himself in order that such a remarkable pattern may not be lost to the world.

The chief excitement in a woman’s life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.

After marriage, a woman’s sight becomes so keen that she can see right through her husband without looking at him, and a man’s so dull that he can look right through his wife without seeing her.

When a girl marries she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one.

When you see a married couple coming down the street, the one who is two or three steps ahead is the one that’s mad.